Wednesday, July 30, 200823/07/2008 - 30/07/2008
recently did alot of things so nv update much.. bt the things actually not impt oso lol..
23/07/2008 - 24/07/2008
i remember tis 2 days i keep on watching anime and shows and nv study at all for my BA.. except on thurs nite i went out wif andy lee,darry and andy huang to go revise for the exam.. although Andy huang nv take BA exam de.. bt i asked him to help us cos he oredi taken b4 and he passed it too.. i didnt noe much abt the BA exam..
whn at evening.. at 1st andy lee and darry was sayin go Changi airport to study.. but thn cos to me changi airport is very far oso.. den andy huang suggested go wakuru.. although oso abt the same for me.. but then at least wakuru is quieter.. so i went to prepare myself real fast and took cab all the way to wakuru.. whn i reach the entrance of wakuru.. they all was waiting for the seats liaos.. den andy huang was outside whn i reach cos he smoking.. den he saw me in the cab den helped me to open door suddenly den i tio shocked.. i tot who opened the door cos i was lookin at the driver's side and nv notice him.. den whn we finally got seats.. we wanted to sit outside but got abit raining den after they all think.. at last they decided small rain doesnt matter.. and end up i took the only seat tht will hab shelter de.. cos the table put till very strange.. oni my side will hab the roof as shelter.. the rest of the 3 is wifout it.. den whn we talk and revising the BA awhile.. the rain got bigger.. bt jus nice the seat beside which got shelter de ppl jus went off.. we faster move to the seat there cos the 3 guys is goin to be all wet soon due to the rain lol.. den we ordered food.. i ordered a chawanmushi and salmon sushi at 1st.. they all keep on ask me to order a main course to eat cos i nv eat for whole day.. bt i didnt.. i keep on tryin to study cos i keep on cannt remember anything.. den end up andy huang ordered a chicken ramen or something de.. i oso dunno whats tht.. but then he demand tht i got to eat and he put some into a small bowl gimme.. no choice got all the 3 guys keep sayin i mus eat.. den i ate it and start to revise again.. till ard 11pm we went off and andyhuang send andylee to payalebar to take cab.. send darry to commonwealth and lastly me at bukit batok.. was toking to andy huang abt somethings and end up till 1am lidat den went off..
after back home.. i was tryin to study again bt yet dunno why my mind keep on is blank de.. till i fell aslp.. -,-"
25/07/2008
as i was sayin.. i fell aslp.. and so.. lights on computer on.. slpin on bed wif the paper on my pillow.. was thinkin cfm die liao tis exam.. cos i cant remember anything.. den i faster prepare cos i woke up late and i was suppose to meet darry and andy lee and shernise at Dhoby ghaut Long John Silver 9am for breakfast while doin the last revision de.. end up i reached at oni 9.30am.. den whn i reach there.. i still cannt remember anything.. den i told them i cfm die liaos.. cos my mind all blank.. den i took out the paper and keep on tryin to memorise those things tht are easier to remember de.. cos no choice le ma..
ard 9.50am we walked to MDIS Dhoby Ghaut cos our exam was at thr.. den we went up and stand outside the exam room tryin to remember the things for the last time.. and i still cannt remember much and gib up on 10.10am.. bt dunno y whn i walked into the exam room and saw the exam questions.. my mind suddenly got some of the points so i faster use pencil and wrote on the question paper b4 i 4get.. maNaged to do 5 questions.. hopefully the point was rite.. and i did finished at ard 12pm.. and jus nice andy lee oso did finished at tis time.. den darry was waiting for us at downstairs.. and we went down and while waiting for the rest we go and look at the booklets for courses in MDIS.. i took the advance diploma in International Business and advance diploma in Business Management and oso the Degree for Business (specializing in International Business and Marketing).. was thinkin of goin to take advance diploma of Business Management.. and i saw the nxt intake is at Nov of this year.. so if my results managed to pass.. mayb i will take the Nov Batch ba.. bt i wana ask darry they all see if they wana go or not.. if not i alone go.. mus get use to new environment again..
after all came out.. we went to Long John Silver cos one of them say long time nv eat tht le.. and i saw the new shrimpy cheese wrap food.. den tinking aiya i so long nv eat cheese and all tis things le.. try 1 time see will gain back how much weight.. den i ordered the set and andy lee was sayin i eat the food look like the food is those super rare and nice de food lidat.. cos i long time nv eat cheese de thing liao.. whn taste the taste of it i suddenly bcome like at heaven liao lol.. whn eatin halfway shernise was telling me she at PS walking ard.. and then i was asking they all goin where after eating.. some ned to go back work.. den end up me,andy lee and darry decided to walk to the cine Kbox.. since i nv went to KTV with they all b4 and i kinda miss singing.. so we walked to there.. and whn we walked till heeren there de traffic light.. i saw samantha they all oso at there.. and they asked us where we goin.. den end up they was goin to KTV oso.. bt they goin to the partyworld beside heeren.. den i wana try try the kbox at cine.. cos i noe the partyworld beside heeren the things wasnt tht gd and i was lazy to walk till international building.. whn we reach Kbox the person tell me member got 20% discount.. so is $10.40.. den i was thinkin sld be ok ba.. den as usual i let andy lee and darry sing 1st.. cos wifout drink i dun wana sing 1st.. den andy lee sing the zhang dong liang song 1st.. he like de song got some same as me de sia.. den some song he 4got the tune liao den i prompt him to the tune while i was adjusting the echo.. den after tht i look thru the new song list and saw tht Kbox got the ming zhong zhu ding wo ai ni de both theme song and end song.. i faster put in the list cos i love the songs and partyworld doesnt hab it.. and the end song cos is duet lai de.. den jus nice andy lee de wife got watch tis show oso and he kinda noe the tune so i asked him to acc me sing.. den i oso sing the theme song.. den followed by Rainie de songs.. and i suddenly feel like singin SHE songs.. so i oso sang some of it.. den they say my voice sounds like Selina.. -,- now bcome not Rainie is Selina liaos -,- bt anyway was habin quite abit of fun cos long time nv sing liaos.. plus got darry the entertainer there and oso plus andy lee.. we was laughin for quite a few times.. den whn the person took the bill to the room.. cos i said i pay 1st cos darry no cash and andy lee ned to wait weekend.. den i was asking the person can use diners club credit card rite.. cos i saw the dinersclub sticker b4 in kbox de counter there.. den she say ya but i ned to follow her to the counter.. den i was thinking why so strange de.. i tot credit card sld be they bring to u to sign de.. den i went thre.. and end up the person dunno y say NETS.. den still ask for my pin number.. den i blur tio.. i dunno whats the pin number for it sia.. den i anyhow press the pin number of my another card.. den tio reject and i asked her.. isnt tis card suppose to be for Signature de... den she look at it den realise is a credit card.. bt then lidat oso crazy lo.. cos Diners Club got NETS for the looks of tht card mehs.. den i was thinkin why cine de kbox ppl still so blur de.. den we sing and sing till 6plus darry went to find his gf at lucky plaza there.. cos his gf working there.. den me and andy lee sang till 7pm den they tell us last song.. wasted lo.. i dunno tht they got tht system tht whn they say last song they will make the system to finish the last song and the rest will auto delete.. zz.. i was still thinkin put the 12mins song as last song de..
after we went out of the Kbox.. andy lee keep on sayin i sing very nice.. den i was telling him alot more ppl sing more nice than me.. i always go KTV with them i will stress de cos im the worst in it.. den told him how i actually make myself from a mono tone singing to now de singing.. den he keep on telling me mus hab confidence in myself and somemore ask me to go singin competition.. den i was sayin siao aie.. i stand on the stage i oredi shivering liao.. what song i oso cannt sing out de liaos..
den whn we walked till paragon there.. all the way andy lee keep on repeating say i mus hab confidence in myself.. cos he always hear me sayin i very ugly i sing very nan ting all tis negative de things.. den i told him actually i not no confidence de.. is sometimes i jus say say nia.. den told him whn i taking photo i got a very high expectation de.. so almost every pic i took i always will say so ugly or what de.. not bcos of what lol.. cos i got certain angle take le wun be tht nice de.. bt then in real life im ok with my own looks de..except for the fat part.. for my own face im quite ok with it except if i was wifout make up lol.. we saw darry was walking at the paragon there and we asked why he's there.. den he told us his gf ned to wait ppl eat finish den she can come out.. so he say we 3 jus go ahead and eat 1st.. den end up we decided to go lucky plaza there de food court to eat.. since i nv see his gf b4 lol.. heard she's a china ger.. and i was thinkin such a nice features mix blood guy.. tall and handsome de.. how his gf will look like.. den end up i saw.. the ger doesnt reli look like a ger from china.. except for her make up.. or sld be from my own view ba... cos i always dun like the colour of eyeshadow tht she put.. and i was shocked whn i noe she was oso ard my age.. bt dunno why at food court whn after i ordered porridge and walked back.. i was hearing darry and andy lee keep on complaining on tis ger.. den they say till like she's so bad lidat.. although i tink she got abit ba dao for the case.. bt i didnt witness it so i oso nv say much.. and i jus knew tht darry quarrelled with her jus now and he say she keep on giving attitude.. den after i ate finish.. darry was asking me want to go face his gf with him or not.. cos jus nw i oni looked at her at a side.. andy lee says he wana see the expression tht his gf will gib whn she saw me beside darry lol.. they wana gib her a serious "hit" so tht she wun be so proud of herself and will try to take back darry..
end up at 1st i dun wan de.. but then aiya.. jus lidat go lo.. whn reach there den i looked at her awhile den i look at other side liaos.. den darry took his bag from her and i saw her attitude liaos.. lol.. den darry dunno say what to her den she walked away den darry and me walked to the stairs there to find andy.. lol darry was saying tht he say wana intro his frd to her.. bt she dun wana noe anything abt me and walked off.. den while walking.. darry got more n more angry abt her and he put his bag back to the gf there and say after her work he wana tok to her.. den andy lee got to go back home cos his wife was waiting for him to buy dinner for her.. den end up cos i nth to do oso and not in a hurry to be goin back home.. den darry ned to wait till 10pm which is 1 1/2 hours later.. so i say i go walk ard with him till 10pm ba den i take bus go home.. so we walked all the way till PS there de mrt station.. den walked thru the shops at the MRT station there de.. den end up dunno why we came out from the exit near to the sch there.. den end up we went to The Cathay there and walk ard.. every floor we walked 1 whole round and i didnt notice b4 tht there got so much things oso sia.. there got beautiful clothes, small cute things and oso those who help ppl decorate the handphone with beautiful designs de.. i saw 1 super nice de lo.. like a cake lidat.. and oso 1 tht suits cosplay or punk ppl de.. i was so tempted to make 1 oso for my handphone bt then i was goin to change the hp at Dec liaos.. so dun wana waste money on tis ba..
den we walked till very tired and slowly walked till the PS there de busstop cos is ard 10pm liaos.. den i waited for 162 there.. at 1st got 1 162 but many bus in front of it.. so i tot it will move 4ward as there are 3 bus in front of 162.. bt end up the 162 didnt stop at all sia.. after the 3 bus moved.. it oso drove off sia.. i was so mad abt it.. bt see the board.. aiya nxt bus arriving in 4min.. den i tink nvm la is ok liaos lidat.. 4min nia.. den darry went off 1st cos 10pm le.. den end up dunno is myself thinking too much or what.. i keep on thinking so slow 1 the bus.. like waited for very long lidat.. finally i got on the bus and reach home ard 11.15pm.. so tired and played awhile com and fell aslp
26/07/2008
Sat liaos.. slp until 4pm plus lol.. tink too tired tis few days liaos.. at 1st was sayin go out with andy huang de.. bt then he suddenly say he ned go his grandma hse.. and jus nice andy lee called me asking me if i wana join him and his wife and darry or not.. cos his wife de frd bdae.. den he not reli close to the frds.. so wan me and darry to acc him tok there.. so i was thinkin since i nth to do.. jus go lo.. whn i reach the 136 busstop.. den i realise.. i didnt bring wallet.. bt i so lazy to walk till there.. till i called andy lee and ask him if they all got cash to lend me or not.. i can xfer to them the nxt day if they wan.. den i got on to cab and asked andy lee to come down cos i reached.. and he say is darry pay de.. den darry was buyin laptop.. so we went up and i saw he bought Toshiba laptop.. look quite nice.. the things of the laptop quite ok ba.. with a 3GB ram.. is better than my laptop can liao lol.. den we waited for awhile and finally finished and we went to the Kbox.. i was quite anxious cos i nv see any of them b4.. and whn i went in not long... they ask me to sing liaos.. den i ned my drinks de.. so i told them later.. bt then andy lee de wife wana sing the Guo Jing de "bai fen bai" and they say can see tht i cfm 100% noe this song de.. my face got write i noe tis song mehs -,- but then ya la i noe la.. so i helped with the tune for awhile and dunno y whn i took the mic.. my hands was shivering le lo.. so scared sia.. 7 or 8 strangers i nv see b4.. suddenly ask me sing.. somemore wifout drinks.. and they too kua zhang le lo.. whn i start the 1st sentence.. they keep on at there "wah hao ting leh" den i was so paiseh and sing there.. den whn andy lee de wife got hold of the tune i stopped den took a cup and pour the drink.. cos they ordered a jug of lemon honey.. jus nice i ned tht.. lol.. den end up dunno why i feel my throat very jia lak whn i sing.. mayb cos fri sing liao the nxt day still sing again ba.. den i keep on eating the strepsils.. i tot will hab use.. end up dun hab oso.. den i sang the SHE song and they like stun tio there and at 1st 1 of the guy there wanted to sing with me.. he oso dun wan to sing liaos and say wan listen me sing.. den after tht i asked andy lee what happened.. den he say cos they say i sing like selina singing lidat.. -,- den behind behind i abit not much mood for singin cos alot songs i cannt sing well liaos.. den throat gettin worst.. after eatin the bdae cake.. and suddenly they gimme a news.. which is they will be able to sing till 3am.. zzzzzzzzzzzz...... they sing from 7pm till 3am sia.. 8hrs they able to tahan sia.. i ard 12am plus i bth liaos lo.. my throat cannt take it anymore.. den behind behind all the songs all is sang by the guy and andy lee.. den all along i was talkin wif darry and andy lee.. den listening to the songs.. till 2am lidat.. we went off cos no more songs they wana sing de liaos.. den we went to take cab at downstairs and i shared cab wif darry cos i nv bring wallet ma.. den andy lee and his wife oso shared wif us cos got pass by their house there.. den whn i reach home i rest awhile and played some games den slp liaos..
27/07/2008
sunday i woke up at ard 1pm.. but then inside my room lyin on the bed and roll here n there.. den till ard 3plus den i went out.. den faster prepare myself and get rdy and ard 6pm me,my dad and my mum went out to my dad's frd de condo house warming.. was quite a nice condo.. although the hse quite small.. bt they made it quite beautiful and jus nice they got the unit which look out will saw the fountain and the garden.. is at the garden tht floor.. den i went to the fountain there and took quite alot of pics bt all is ugly cos the sky got darker and i very hard to get the light to see my face.. open nightmode bcome too bright oso.. den after tht i got myself a full plate of food.. till my mum say i eat so much tht day lol.. den i ate 1 small bowl of the dessert and then i saw got bobochacha.. den i took 1 bowl of it and tot of share wif my mum.. den end up bcome i eat de.. den my dad went to BBQ chicken wing.. den i took a pic of him BBQ-ing the chicken wing.. den i ate 1 of it.. and the taste was quite nice sia.. bt after eating.. i started to get bored.. cos me and my mum sitting there like statue den my dad was tokin all over the place.. den i keep on talking with my mum.. telling her of my studies and what i wana do nxt time all tht.. lol.. i even tell her tht if i really able to get Degree for Business.. after tht i wana go study Design.. den she ask me go study interior design.. bt i got no interest in furnitures lol.. i told her i wana go study Clothes Design.. i wun study till alot.. but then at least noe hw to design clothes all tht.. den mayb tht time after learn liao i design clothes out and sell it see can earn or not.. bt is still my interest la.. so see how lo.. bt will take an office work as my main stable job of cos.. den we went home at ard 9plus..
28/07/2008
MONDAY BLUE ARH!!! lol.. i keep on sayin tis cos after a week of nv work.. now i gona start work again.. so sians.. lol.. got alot of things pile up for me to do.. and i was so busy the whole day.. till i so tired..
den went home and watch Superband while eat dinner.. as usual.. didnt pay much attention to the show.. cos not much attracted me.. the last time tht superband show is better.. at least got mi lu bing they all quite nice.. tis year de so far none attracted me yet.. den watched awhile show den took my psp to play.. lol so long nv play liaos.. cos recently saw baha went to buy psp and jayce oso.. den suddenly got the urge to play back.. played till i fell aslp lol..
29/07/2008
early in the morning 8am got a sms.. i tot from who sia.. end up is andy huang.. he dunno what happened lol.. he send me Good morning! have a great day ahead.. lol.. den after tht whn i reach office i dunno why today i feel like writing a song out.. cos i keep on having some kind of lyrics type of wrds inside my mind.. den i jus wrote out den slowly and slowly like bcome a song liaos.. bt nth special de la.. so i oso nv tell many ppl abt it.. wrote a sad song.. bt got a comment from 1 ppl who heard it.. nice but not sad enuff.. lol why i mus be so sad sia lol.. tht was jus a story of someone whom i saw.. den jus anyhow write out de.. whole day was writing tht song and playin psp oso.. so nth much to say oso lol
30/07/08
after 1 day of writing a song out.. i decided to write a song for my ownself.. was quite a cheerful type song.. bt then habent let any ppl listen to it b4.. and wasnt planning to let ppl listen.. cos afterall is jus my own interest.. didnt learn b4 and oso wifout instrument.. during this period of writing.. i got the urge to go learn piano sia.. bt thn i learn le oso no use.. piano so exp.. den guitar i got not much interest in it.. lol.. plus i so old liaos still go learn wif kids will be super funny lo..
at nite keep on play and play psp games cos got quite a lot of new games.. bt dun hab enuff time to try all.. den all the while playin and playin till fell aslp at ard 1am plus i tink..
23/07/2008 - 24/07/2008
i remember tis 2 days i keep on watching anime and shows and nv study at all for my BA.. except on thurs nite i went out wif andy lee,darry and andy huang to go revise for the exam.. although Andy huang nv take BA exam de.. bt i asked him to help us cos he oredi taken b4 and he passed it too.. i didnt noe much abt the BA exam..
whn at evening.. at 1st andy lee and darry was sayin go Changi airport to study.. but thn cos to me changi airport is very far oso.. den andy huang suggested go wakuru.. although oso abt the same for me.. but then at least wakuru is quieter.. so i went to prepare myself real fast and took cab all the way to wakuru.. whn i reach the entrance of wakuru.. they all was waiting for the seats liaos.. den andy huang was outside whn i reach cos he smoking.. den he saw me in the cab den helped me to open door suddenly den i tio shocked.. i tot who opened the door cos i was lookin at the driver's side and nv notice him.. den whn we finally got seats.. we wanted to sit outside but got abit raining den after they all think.. at last they decided small rain doesnt matter.. and end up i took the only seat tht will hab shelter de.. cos the table put till very strange.. oni my side will hab the roof as shelter.. the rest of the 3 is wifout it.. den whn we talk and revising the BA awhile.. the rain got bigger.. bt jus nice the seat beside which got shelter de ppl jus went off.. we faster move to the seat there cos the 3 guys is goin to be all wet soon due to the rain lol.. den we ordered food.. i ordered a chawanmushi and salmon sushi at 1st.. they all keep on ask me to order a main course to eat cos i nv eat for whole day.. bt i didnt.. i keep on tryin to study cos i keep on cannt remember anything.. den end up andy huang ordered a chicken ramen or something de.. i oso dunno whats tht.. but then he demand tht i got to eat and he put some into a small bowl gimme.. no choice got all the 3 guys keep sayin i mus eat.. den i ate it and start to revise again.. till ard 11pm we went off and andyhuang send andylee to payalebar to take cab.. send darry to commonwealth and lastly me at bukit batok.. was toking to andy huang abt somethings and end up till 1am lidat den went off..
after back home.. i was tryin to study again bt yet dunno why my mind keep on is blank de.. till i fell aslp.. -,-"
25/07/2008
as i was sayin.. i fell aslp.. and so.. lights on computer on.. slpin on bed wif the paper on my pillow.. was thinkin cfm die liao tis exam.. cos i cant remember anything.. den i faster prepare cos i woke up late and i was suppose to meet darry and andy lee and shernise at Dhoby ghaut Long John Silver 9am for breakfast while doin the last revision de.. end up i reached at oni 9.30am.. den whn i reach there.. i still cannt remember anything.. den i told them i cfm die liaos.. cos my mind all blank.. den i took out the paper and keep on tryin to memorise those things tht are easier to remember de.. cos no choice le ma..
ard 9.50am we walked to MDIS Dhoby Ghaut cos our exam was at thr.. den we went up and stand outside the exam room tryin to remember the things for the last time.. and i still cannt remember much and gib up on 10.10am.. bt dunno y whn i walked into the exam room and saw the exam questions.. my mind suddenly got some of the points so i faster use pencil and wrote on the question paper b4 i 4get.. maNaged to do 5 questions.. hopefully the point was rite.. and i did finished at ard 12pm.. and jus nice andy lee oso did finished at tis time.. den darry was waiting for us at downstairs.. and we went down and while waiting for the rest we go and look at the booklets for courses in MDIS.. i took the advance diploma in International Business and advance diploma in Business Management and oso the Degree for Business (specializing in International Business and Marketing).. was thinkin of goin to take advance diploma of Business Management.. and i saw the nxt intake is at Nov of this year.. so if my results managed to pass.. mayb i will take the Nov Batch ba.. bt i wana ask darry they all see if they wana go or not.. if not i alone go.. mus get use to new environment again..
after all came out.. we went to Long John Silver cos one of them say long time nv eat tht le.. and i saw the new shrimpy cheese wrap food.. den tinking aiya i so long nv eat cheese and all tis things le.. try 1 time see will gain back how much weight.. den i ordered the set and andy lee was sayin i eat the food look like the food is those super rare and nice de food lidat.. cos i long time nv eat cheese de thing liao.. whn taste the taste of it i suddenly bcome like at heaven liao lol.. whn eatin halfway shernise was telling me she at PS walking ard.. and then i was asking they all goin where after eating.. some ned to go back work.. den end up me,andy lee and darry decided to walk to the cine Kbox.. since i nv went to KTV with they all b4 and i kinda miss singing.. so we walked to there.. and whn we walked till heeren there de traffic light.. i saw samantha they all oso at there.. and they asked us where we goin.. den end up they was goin to KTV oso.. bt they goin to the partyworld beside heeren.. den i wana try try the kbox at cine.. cos i noe the partyworld beside heeren the things wasnt tht gd and i was lazy to walk till international building.. whn we reach Kbox the person tell me member got 20% discount.. so is $10.40.. den i was thinkin sld be ok ba.. den as usual i let andy lee and darry sing 1st.. cos wifout drink i dun wana sing 1st.. den andy lee sing the zhang dong liang song 1st.. he like de song got some same as me de sia.. den some song he 4got the tune liao den i prompt him to the tune while i was adjusting the echo.. den after tht i look thru the new song list and saw tht Kbox got the ming zhong zhu ding wo ai ni de both theme song and end song.. i faster put in the list cos i love the songs and partyworld doesnt hab it.. and the end song cos is duet lai de.. den jus nice andy lee de wife got watch tis show oso and he kinda noe the tune so i asked him to acc me sing.. den i oso sing the theme song.. den followed by Rainie de songs.. and i suddenly feel like singin SHE songs.. so i oso sang some of it.. den they say my voice sounds like Selina.. -,- now bcome not Rainie is Selina liaos -,- bt anyway was habin quite abit of fun cos long time nv sing liaos.. plus got darry the entertainer there and oso plus andy lee.. we was laughin for quite a few times.. den whn the person took the bill to the room.. cos i said i pay 1st cos darry no cash and andy lee ned to wait weekend.. den i was asking the person can use diners club credit card rite.. cos i saw the dinersclub sticker b4 in kbox de counter there.. den she say ya but i ned to follow her to the counter.. den i was thinking why so strange de.. i tot credit card sld be they bring to u to sign de.. den i went thre.. and end up the person dunno y say NETS.. den still ask for my pin number.. den i blur tio.. i dunno whats the pin number for it sia.. den i anyhow press the pin number of my another card.. den tio reject and i asked her.. isnt tis card suppose to be for Signature de... den she look at it den realise is a credit card.. bt then lidat oso crazy lo.. cos Diners Club got NETS for the looks of tht card mehs.. den i was thinkin why cine de kbox ppl still so blur de.. den we sing and sing till 6plus darry went to find his gf at lucky plaza there.. cos his gf working there.. den me and andy lee sang till 7pm den they tell us last song.. wasted lo.. i dunno tht they got tht system tht whn they say last song they will make the system to finish the last song and the rest will auto delete.. zz.. i was still thinkin put the 12mins song as last song de..
after we went out of the Kbox.. andy lee keep on sayin i sing very nice.. den i was telling him alot more ppl sing more nice than me.. i always go KTV with them i will stress de cos im the worst in it.. den told him how i actually make myself from a mono tone singing to now de singing.. den he keep on telling me mus hab confidence in myself and somemore ask me to go singin competition.. den i was sayin siao aie.. i stand on the stage i oredi shivering liao.. what song i oso cannt sing out de liaos..
den whn we walked till paragon there.. all the way andy lee keep on repeating say i mus hab confidence in myself.. cos he always hear me sayin i very ugly i sing very nan ting all tis negative de things.. den i told him actually i not no confidence de.. is sometimes i jus say say nia.. den told him whn i taking photo i got a very high expectation de.. so almost every pic i took i always will say so ugly or what de.. not bcos of what lol.. cos i got certain angle take le wun be tht nice de.. bt then in real life im ok with my own looks de..except for the fat part.. for my own face im quite ok with it except if i was wifout make up lol.. we saw darry was walking at the paragon there and we asked why he's there.. den he told us his gf ned to wait ppl eat finish den she can come out.. so he say we 3 jus go ahead and eat 1st.. den end up we decided to go lucky plaza there de food court to eat.. since i nv see his gf b4 lol.. heard she's a china ger.. and i was thinkin such a nice features mix blood guy.. tall and handsome de.. how his gf will look like.. den end up i saw.. the ger doesnt reli look like a ger from china.. except for her make up.. or sld be from my own view ba... cos i always dun like the colour of eyeshadow tht she put.. and i was shocked whn i noe she was oso ard my age.. bt dunno why at food court whn after i ordered porridge and walked back.. i was hearing darry and andy lee keep on complaining on tis ger.. den they say till like she's so bad lidat.. although i tink she got abit ba dao for the case.. bt i didnt witness it so i oso nv say much.. and i jus knew tht darry quarrelled with her jus now and he say she keep on giving attitude.. den after i ate finish.. darry was asking me want to go face his gf with him or not.. cos jus nw i oni looked at her at a side.. andy lee says he wana see the expression tht his gf will gib whn she saw me beside darry lol.. they wana gib her a serious "hit" so tht she wun be so proud of herself and will try to take back darry..
end up at 1st i dun wan de.. but then aiya.. jus lidat go lo.. whn reach there den i looked at her awhile den i look at other side liaos.. den darry took his bag from her and i saw her attitude liaos.. lol.. den darry dunno say what to her den she walked away den darry and me walked to the stairs there to find andy.. lol darry was saying tht he say wana intro his frd to her.. bt she dun wana noe anything abt me and walked off.. den while walking.. darry got more n more angry abt her and he put his bag back to the gf there and say after her work he wana tok to her.. den andy lee got to go back home cos his wife was waiting for him to buy dinner for her.. den end up cos i nth to do oso and not in a hurry to be goin back home.. den darry ned to wait till 10pm which is 1 1/2 hours later.. so i say i go walk ard with him till 10pm ba den i take bus go home.. so we walked all the way till PS there de mrt station.. den walked thru the shops at the MRT station there de.. den end up dunno why we came out from the exit near to the sch there.. den end up we went to The Cathay there and walk ard.. every floor we walked 1 whole round and i didnt notice b4 tht there got so much things oso sia.. there got beautiful clothes, small cute things and oso those who help ppl decorate the handphone with beautiful designs de.. i saw 1 super nice de lo.. like a cake lidat.. and oso 1 tht suits cosplay or punk ppl de.. i was so tempted to make 1 oso for my handphone bt then i was goin to change the hp at Dec liaos.. so dun wana waste money on tis ba..
den we walked till very tired and slowly walked till the PS there de busstop cos is ard 10pm liaos.. den i waited for 162 there.. at 1st got 1 162 but many bus in front of it.. so i tot it will move 4ward as there are 3 bus in front of 162.. bt end up the 162 didnt stop at all sia.. after the 3 bus moved.. it oso drove off sia.. i was so mad abt it.. bt see the board.. aiya nxt bus arriving in 4min.. den i tink nvm la is ok liaos lidat.. 4min nia.. den darry went off 1st cos 10pm le.. den end up dunno is myself thinking too much or what.. i keep on thinking so slow 1 the bus.. like waited for very long lidat.. finally i got on the bus and reach home ard 11.15pm.. so tired and played awhile com and fell aslp
26/07/2008
Sat liaos.. slp until 4pm plus lol.. tink too tired tis few days liaos.. at 1st was sayin go out with andy huang de.. bt then he suddenly say he ned go his grandma hse.. and jus nice andy lee called me asking me if i wana join him and his wife and darry or not.. cos his wife de frd bdae.. den he not reli close to the frds.. so wan me and darry to acc him tok there.. so i was thinkin since i nth to do.. jus go lo.. whn i reach the 136 busstop.. den i realise.. i didnt bring wallet.. bt i so lazy to walk till there.. till i called andy lee and ask him if they all got cash to lend me or not.. i can xfer to them the nxt day if they wan.. den i got on to cab and asked andy lee to come down cos i reached.. and he say is darry pay de.. den darry was buyin laptop.. so we went up and i saw he bought Toshiba laptop.. look quite nice.. the things of the laptop quite ok ba.. with a 3GB ram.. is better than my laptop can liao lol.. den we waited for awhile and finally finished and we went to the Kbox.. i was quite anxious cos i nv see any of them b4.. and whn i went in not long... they ask me to sing liaos.. den i ned my drinks de.. so i told them later.. bt then andy lee de wife wana sing the Guo Jing de "bai fen bai" and they say can see tht i cfm 100% noe this song de.. my face got write i noe tis song mehs -,- but then ya la i noe la.. so i helped with the tune for awhile and dunno y whn i took the mic.. my hands was shivering le lo.. so scared sia.. 7 or 8 strangers i nv see b4.. suddenly ask me sing.. somemore wifout drinks.. and they too kua zhang le lo.. whn i start the 1st sentence.. they keep on at there "wah hao ting leh" den i was so paiseh and sing there.. den whn andy lee de wife got hold of the tune i stopped den took a cup and pour the drink.. cos they ordered a jug of lemon honey.. jus nice i ned tht.. lol.. den end up dunno why i feel my throat very jia lak whn i sing.. mayb cos fri sing liao the nxt day still sing again ba.. den i keep on eating the strepsils.. i tot will hab use.. end up dun hab oso.. den i sang the SHE song and they like stun tio there and at 1st 1 of the guy there wanted to sing with me.. he oso dun wan to sing liaos and say wan listen me sing.. den after tht i asked andy lee what happened.. den he say cos they say i sing like selina singing lidat.. -,- den behind behind i abit not much mood for singin cos alot songs i cannt sing well liaos.. den throat gettin worst.. after eatin the bdae cake.. and suddenly they gimme a news.. which is they will be able to sing till 3am.. zzzzzzzzzzzz...... they sing from 7pm till 3am sia.. 8hrs they able to tahan sia.. i ard 12am plus i bth liaos lo.. my throat cannt take it anymore.. den behind behind all the songs all is sang by the guy and andy lee.. den all along i was talkin wif darry and andy lee.. den listening to the songs.. till 2am lidat.. we went off cos no more songs they wana sing de liaos.. den we went to take cab at downstairs and i shared cab wif darry cos i nv bring wallet ma.. den andy lee and his wife oso shared wif us cos got pass by their house there.. den whn i reach home i rest awhile and played some games den slp liaos..
27/07/2008
sunday i woke up at ard 1pm.. but then inside my room lyin on the bed and roll here n there.. den till ard 3plus den i went out.. den faster prepare myself and get rdy and ard 6pm me,my dad and my mum went out to my dad's frd de condo house warming.. was quite a nice condo.. although the hse quite small.. bt they made it quite beautiful and jus nice they got the unit which look out will saw the fountain and the garden.. is at the garden tht floor.. den i went to the fountain there and took quite alot of pics bt all is ugly cos the sky got darker and i very hard to get the light to see my face.. open nightmode bcome too bright oso.. den after tht i got myself a full plate of food.. till my mum say i eat so much tht day lol.. den i ate 1 small bowl of the dessert and then i saw got bobochacha.. den i took 1 bowl of it and tot of share wif my mum.. den end up bcome i eat de.. den my dad went to BBQ chicken wing.. den i took a pic of him BBQ-ing the chicken wing.. den i ate 1 of it.. and the taste was quite nice sia.. bt after eating.. i started to get bored.. cos me and my mum sitting there like statue den my dad was tokin all over the place.. den i keep on talking with my mum.. telling her of my studies and what i wana do nxt time all tht.. lol.. i even tell her tht if i really able to get Degree for Business.. after tht i wana go study Design.. den she ask me go study interior design.. bt i got no interest in furnitures lol.. i told her i wana go study Clothes Design.. i wun study till alot.. but then at least noe hw to design clothes all tht.. den mayb tht time after learn liao i design clothes out and sell it see can earn or not.. bt is still my interest la.. so see how lo.. bt will take an office work as my main stable job of cos.. den we went home at ard 9plus..
28/07/2008
MONDAY BLUE ARH!!! lol.. i keep on sayin tis cos after a week of nv work.. now i gona start work again.. so sians.. lol.. got alot of things pile up for me to do.. and i was so busy the whole day.. till i so tired..
den went home and watch Superband while eat dinner.. as usual.. didnt pay much attention to the show.. cos not much attracted me.. the last time tht superband show is better.. at least got mi lu bing they all quite nice.. tis year de so far none attracted me yet.. den watched awhile show den took my psp to play.. lol so long nv play liaos.. cos recently saw baha went to buy psp and jayce oso.. den suddenly got the urge to play back.. played till i fell aslp lol..
29/07/2008
early in the morning 8am got a sms.. i tot from who sia.. end up is andy huang.. he dunno what happened lol.. he send me Good morning! have a great day ahead.. lol.. den after tht whn i reach office i dunno why today i feel like writing a song out.. cos i keep on having some kind of lyrics type of wrds inside my mind.. den i jus wrote out den slowly and slowly like bcome a song liaos.. bt nth special de la.. so i oso nv tell many ppl abt it.. wrote a sad song.. bt got a comment from 1 ppl who heard it.. nice but not sad enuff.. lol why i mus be so sad sia lol.. tht was jus a story of someone whom i saw.. den jus anyhow write out de.. whole day was writing tht song and playin psp oso.. so nth much to say oso lol
30/07/08
after 1 day of writing a song out.. i decided to write a song for my ownself.. was quite a cheerful type song.. bt then habent let any ppl listen to it b4.. and wasnt planning to let ppl listen.. cos afterall is jus my own interest.. didnt learn b4 and oso wifout instrument.. during this period of writing.. i got the urge to go learn piano sia.. bt thn i learn le oso no use.. piano so exp.. den guitar i got not much interest in it.. lol.. plus i so old liaos still go learn wif kids will be super funny lo..
at nite keep on play and play psp games cos got quite a lot of new games.. bt dun hab enuff time to try all.. den all the while playin and playin till fell aslp at ard 1am plus i tink..
written at 6:17 PM
Tuesday, July 22, 200819/07/2008 - 22/07/2008
19/07/2008
woot realise so many days nv update liaos.. busy wif my 1st exam..
sat afternoon went to sing KTV wif sis.. but then halfway due to something happened.. didnt really sing the full 4hrs.. was quite sad at tht day.. so i called alot ppl see who wana go for a small chit chat or some quiet place to let me rest my mind..
was actually wanting to go to East Coast Park at 1st.. but then wendy working till 10pm.. andy lee wif his wife.. andy huang is slpin and nv pick up phone.. jayce nv reply my sms at tht time.. so end up tinking aiya nvm.. go amk hub there meet up wif wendy and baha then.. since wendy was working there till 10pm.. and baha was at amk..
meet baha at 9pm at amk hub minitoons there.. chose a cute pink colour heart shape handphone accessory for my hp.. but end up didnt noe tht the quality is tht bad tht the pearls was not glued nicely and the pearls loose off after awhile..
went to the shop where wendy was working at.. ji siao her abit and went to the game shop where i bought my psp last time.. cos tis time baha wana buy psp.. den his frd was there.. and i noe chris too.. so went there tinking mayb the price got drop or wat.. was actually having a bad mindset of 1 thing.. trade my old big psp plus money and get the new psp lite rose pink.. ned to add another 200 dollar lidat.. end up nvm -.- heavier and uglier but let it be ba.. was tempted to play back psp again.. lol.. cos i went to see.. some of the games i can get quite interested wif.. like hellboy all tht.. and the Monster Hunter Freedom tht so many asked me to play and nxt time able to play together..
after checking the price.. baha suggested the nxt day den decide.. since is quite late le and some places oredi closed.. and oso sunday we meeting oso.. so end up we went back to the shop where wendy works.. lol.. i went to make fun of her again.. long time nv saw her liaos.. she as usual so violent 1.. LOL.. opps.. was quite happi whn baha say tht can see tht i got slimmer liaos.. means i got lose abit fats liaos.. woot.. 9kg of weight.. 1mth plus of effort..
whn 10pm.. me and baha went to Nebo to sit down while wendy closing the shop.. den i was toking wif baha and whn wendy reach we ordered drinks.. mango soda or something de.. den baha ordered hot orange tea or something de lol.. den wendy ordered coke float.. den i took the order form and went to pay for it.. i rejected to take the money frm baha cos lol wendy noes tht i will treat the drinks for sure de.. lol i dun mind treating my frds wif drinks or foods once in awhile ba.. cos didnt really spend alot ma.. if alot den different.. den while we chit chat halfway, my phone received a sms from andy huang.. he say he was slping and ask me why.. den after awhile he called me den i told him abt what happened roughly..
den after we talked for quite awhile whn sitting at the Nebo there.. baha suggested to go play arcade.. i went in and saw all those games.. lol.. so many i nv play b4 or dun play or long time nv play de games.. baha wanted to play the house of the dead 4.. and asked me to play oso cos he got the credits oso.. lol i was tinking dunno 1yrs plus or 2yrs nv play liaos.. wait i lose the standard liaos.. as i expected lol.. the 1st stage i saw a B only.. lol.. i was there gona faint cos i nv get anything except A for the 1st stage de last time.. 2nd stage i able to get back the A.. but 3rd stage the place wher i hate the most.. lol.. i died..
so i stopped and tinking of goin to jubilee there de arcade.. baha was sayin there no games to play de.. bt cos 11.30pm liaos.. so i was tinking jus go there walk 1 round ba.. den i saw mario racing tht game there.. i was so excited and went to top up 2 dollar.. but end up i excited tht i realise.. my card cannt use for the machine.. cos my card is 2nd version de.. and the mario racing machine is the old version de.. den i was so zzz and went to play default 1.. after tht wendy remind me of the times tht we always love to play wif the para para machine.. den we went to play wif it since not much ppl ard oso.. as usual wendy 1,3 den i 2,4 and the 5th is take turns.. i more than 2yrs nv really played tht liaos.. i totally 4get how i used to play tht.. i got the arrows wif no miss at all for all the songs i played.. but the steps tht i used last time.. i cannt remember liao.. end up i was so fed up at there thinking whats the step lol..
after tht.. we went to S-11 to have a drink since 12am oni.. baha will wait for the last bus for him at 12.30am.. den we chit chat till 12.30am and baha went to take bus.. me and wendy went to 7-11 to buy salted peanut.. cos we was planning to go to my hse downstairs and sit down to chit chat till late nite.. lol.. long time nv do tht le.. due to the earlier rain i cannt go to the playgrd.. end up went to void deck there.. sit down and talked alot abt past things and all the things tht i was doin and planning now.. and i oso found out from the conversation tht tis wendy nv change still lol.. she's like my last time lidat.. keep on tinking of games and games.. spending money on game items lol.. i told her i nv played any games now except for those yahoo games lol..
den we chit chat till halfway i received a sms from andy huang again asking me i reach home liao or not.. den i realise is 3am lidat le.. den after i replied the sms by sayin not yet.. whn i reach home i will be on msn de.. den i talked awhile more wif wendy and ask her if she wana go home liao or not.. den as usual wendy sent me till my doorstep again.. jus like those times whn i got the other matter tht the period of time i dun dare to go home alone..
20/07/2008
tis day nth much ba.. talked in msn wif baha,andy huang they all after i woke up.. was actually planning to go to shernise performance at tampines de.. but too early liaos.. cos she asked me and andy huang to go gib her support.. but then too far for both of us liaos.. and 11am i jus woke up oni lol..
at ard 6pm i meet baha at the amk Jubilee there... den he went to buy the psp package.. den he chose the metallic blue.. sians sia.. keep on tio tempted to buy psp lite.. but nvm.. play till my old psp spoilt or what den tink again ba.. bought a psp usb cable since 8 dollar oni.. den after tht we went to take train to dohby ghaut.. cos we meetin jayce at there at 7.30pm.. reached ard 7pm and jus nice jayce smsed me asking me where am i.. lol i told her we reached earlier.. we at ps oredi.. we walk ard for awhile and i went to sasa to buy a nail clipper cos my fingernail cracked again.. den we went to the ichiban sushi to eat and i ordered the japanese de paper steamboat.. quite salty but nice taste still.. den oso ordered my fav salmon skin.. but cos i diet.. cannt eat too much.. i oni ate ard 1/2 of it den left it ther le.. after tht we went to the comics collection there to choose another hp accessories for my hp.. cos the one which i bought from minitoons is too jia lak liaos.. den after tht we went to mac cafe to have a drink and we talk awhile at mac till 10pm we went off liaos..
21/07/2008
woke up by the sms ringtone of my phone at ard 6.50am.. i tot who will so early sms me.. end up is andy huang.. but i replied 1 time and he nv reply again.. mus be went to slp again.. lol.. cos i oso went back to slp.. den 7.50am a sms from him again.. den i replied den slp back again.. whn 9am plus another sms.. den i cannt slp back liaos lol.. so end up i replied him and i dunno what to do.. was thinking of tryin to study.. but zzz.. as usual i cannt study at home alone de.. den end up i was watching TV all the way and playin com.. in msn andy huang and shernise they all keep sayin abt study de things.. den i oso nv study yet.. lol.. den i went to play a yahoo game with full screen de.. so nv realise tht andy huang was looking for me.. end up he called me and asked me the topics tht is impt.. i saw all so hardworking keep on studying.. end up i went to take things to eat and jus copy down the impt parts while i watching TV..
end up till nite time ard 8pm.. i went to eat dinner and andy huang called me and ask me to go to his hse there to study.. cos he oso cannt study well at home.. den i was thinkin lidat mayb i can oso study abit.. so i went to prepare and took a cab to his hse there den meet him at his hse downstairs.. we found a place to sit at and end up he called mac delivery.. askin for delivery to void deck.. i was blurred there whn he called it.. but end up i nv think much oso and start to copy the points while reading it.. tryin to memorise abit of it by the reading and copyin of it.. andy huang saw the notes tht i copied out and he lent it from me and end up he oso start to copy it lol.. den he ask me why i keep on copying.. the reason is cos i dun hab the memory to memorise it now liaos.. since is the last nite tht is able to study tis subject.. so i got to depend on the copyin and the reading liaos.. till 2am plus i wasnt able to finish all the parts yet.. bt andy huang is tired liaos.. so i asked him to go back 1st.. and i will go back soon.. but end up i smsed him asking for nearby mac.. at 1st plannin to go there to study till finish den go home or what de.. den end up i called him asking him what time he goin sch.. cos at 1st thinking stay till morning den straight go sch wif him de lol.. den i asked him he dun wana study le arh.. he at 1st tell me 4am he wake up and study.. den i was makin fun of him asking him lidat 4am he come down again ba.. den i no ned go home liao lidat.. lol.. save effort.. den i oso can study more.. bt nv la of cos.. and i disturb him till he so tired and gana fan by me till he say i very "qi guai" lol.. den end up ard 4am plus i went home and slp straight..
22/07/2008
early in the morning.. planning to wake up 7am at 1st de.. my mum told me she called me since 7am till 7.30am den i got response.. lol too tired le ba.. cos nv slp much lol.. den i went to wash up and received a sms from andy huang asking me where am i.. den after tht i replied him and he nv replied anything liaos.. tot he was angry wif me cos i disturb him alot ytd lol.. den i waited till ard 9am andy lee reached my hse area on cab.. and ask me to go down.. den on cab i was so seh till i dunno what to think abt.. even i reach canteen i oso dunno why my mind cannt get calm to study last minute.. samantha,andy lee,qiu yng they all saw me like im a mad woman lidat lol.. the 1st time i cannt get my mind calm down sia at the last minute.. den andy huang reached sch and he was keep on sayin abt goin to take sub paper for sure.. i was actually oso thinking abt it since i cant get anything into my mind.. samantha asked me some of the impt parts thing.. end up i cannt answer any of it..
wif the mindset of die liaos la.. or taking sub paper liaos.. i went into the exam room.. whn i settle down.. i started to read the 8 questions.. and was surprise tht my mind suddenly got some of the points came out.. so i faster write in pencil on the question paper b4 i 4get again.. den end up i used to points and answered 5questions.. 1st time i wrote so much sia.. but still ok la actually.. quite alot of nonsense inside though.. hopefully can pass ba..
i came out at ard 12.20pm.. thinking was quite late liaos.. tot alot of them went off le.. end up surprised tht andy huang,shernise,catherine all habent come out yet sia.. power lehs.. they wrote till 12.50pm plus den come out.. i noe they all still inside exam room although we different rooms.. cos i went to see if andy huang's car is ard still or not.. end up still ard.. and i went to meet up wif darry and andy lee and went to the wooden bench beside canteen and sit down.. andy huang called me at ard 12.50pm.. at 1st he bluff me say he at bukit batok area liaos.. den end up i noe he was bluffing cos cannt b tht fast de lol... den i asked him to come to where am i and meet up wif us.. den awhile after he say abt the exam things.. he went to smoke den shernise came out le.. hopefully all can pass ba.. all seems like thinking 50 50 chance lidat lol.. andy huang power lo.. he wrote 2 booklets sia.. i oni wrote 1 full booklet.. and my hand oredi super tired liaos.. but andy huang said he wrote more nonsense and examples than points.. cos he nv study much..
den we decided to go eat lunch at somewhere ard and we put shernise alight at commonwealth mrt station cos she ned to rush home to study BA.. we went to a place and eat.. i ordered a super plain porridge and a super salty "ladyfingers" and "eggplant".. i ate ard half of it and dun feel like eating it liaos.. den we was chit chatting at there till ard 2pm plus.. den andy lee and darry went off 1st.. cos darry goin to meet his gf and andy lee was goin to the mrt station and heading to bugis.. whn they goin off.. andy lee accidently made andy huang dropped his fone onto the grd.. and i was so shocked of it cos i nv saw what happened lol.. after awhile they went off le..
so i went off with andy huang and while i was on the car i was thinking tht.. so fast one of the last module ends liaos.. after this course ends.. wonder if we all still can come out chit chat and eat jus lidat or not sia.. den oso thinking whether will there be any of them going to advance diploma same time wif me or not.. hope tht there will be.. cos or else i got to go alone again.. will be super bored de lo.. den whn i was thinking.. andy huang keep on asking me to share wif him what im thinking.. den i keep on dun wan say den say no time liao cos reachin liaos.. end up he went to turn to the multi storey carpark and keep on turn up and down and keep asking me to share zzz.. bt then still end up i went off at bukit batok mrt station there.. den i was thinkin of goin to westmall to walk ard.. cos was reli bored if i lidat go home do nth again..den i was discussing somethings wif andy lee on fone when i was at westmall walking ard.. den i went home at ard 4pm plus.. at 1st called baha to meet me at westmall cos he ask me to go eat wif him at central at 1st.. bt end up his mum cook le.. so nv meet le.. after i reach home my mind was thinking abt the things i was tokin abt wif andy lee.. den 5pm plus he called me wif his hse fone.. and was telling me some of the things tht he was thinking.. den my mum came back and i went to play wif com again.. was so tired and boring.. bt cannt get to slp sia..
all the way in front of the computer and TV till 3am.. den i went to slp after tht.. whole day.. i realise.. i nv study anything abt BA still LOL..
woot realise so many days nv update liaos.. busy wif my 1st exam..
sat afternoon went to sing KTV wif sis.. but then halfway due to something happened.. didnt really sing the full 4hrs.. was quite sad at tht day.. so i called alot ppl see who wana go for a small chit chat or some quiet place to let me rest my mind..
was actually wanting to go to East Coast Park at 1st.. but then wendy working till 10pm.. andy lee wif his wife.. andy huang is slpin and nv pick up phone.. jayce nv reply my sms at tht time.. so end up tinking aiya nvm.. go amk hub there meet up wif wendy and baha then.. since wendy was working there till 10pm.. and baha was at amk..
meet baha at 9pm at amk hub minitoons there.. chose a cute pink colour heart shape handphone accessory for my hp.. but end up didnt noe tht the quality is tht bad tht the pearls was not glued nicely and the pearls loose off after awhile..
went to the shop where wendy was working at.. ji siao her abit and went to the game shop where i bought my psp last time.. cos tis time baha wana buy psp.. den his frd was there.. and i noe chris too.. so went there tinking mayb the price got drop or wat.. was actually having a bad mindset of 1 thing.. trade my old big psp plus money and get the new psp lite rose pink.. ned to add another 200 dollar lidat.. end up nvm -.- heavier and uglier but let it be ba.. was tempted to play back psp again.. lol.. cos i went to see.. some of the games i can get quite interested wif.. like hellboy all tht.. and the Monster Hunter Freedom tht so many asked me to play and nxt time able to play together..
after checking the price.. baha suggested the nxt day den decide.. since is quite late le and some places oredi closed.. and oso sunday we meeting oso.. so end up we went back to the shop where wendy works.. lol.. i went to make fun of her again.. long time nv saw her liaos.. she as usual so violent 1.. LOL.. opps.. was quite happi whn baha say tht can see tht i got slimmer liaos.. means i got lose abit fats liaos.. woot.. 9kg of weight.. 1mth plus of effort..
whn 10pm.. me and baha went to Nebo to sit down while wendy closing the shop.. den i was toking wif baha and whn wendy reach we ordered drinks.. mango soda or something de.. den baha ordered hot orange tea or something de lol.. den wendy ordered coke float.. den i took the order form and went to pay for it.. i rejected to take the money frm baha cos lol wendy noes tht i will treat the drinks for sure de.. lol i dun mind treating my frds wif drinks or foods once in awhile ba.. cos didnt really spend alot ma.. if alot den different.. den while we chit chat halfway, my phone received a sms from andy huang.. he say he was slping and ask me why.. den after awhile he called me den i told him abt what happened roughly..
den after we talked for quite awhile whn sitting at the Nebo there.. baha suggested to go play arcade.. i went in and saw all those games.. lol.. so many i nv play b4 or dun play or long time nv play de games.. baha wanted to play the house of the dead 4.. and asked me to play oso cos he got the credits oso.. lol i was tinking dunno 1yrs plus or 2yrs nv play liaos.. wait i lose the standard liaos.. as i expected lol.. the 1st stage i saw a B only.. lol.. i was there gona faint cos i nv get anything except A for the 1st stage de last time.. 2nd stage i able to get back the A.. but 3rd stage the place wher i hate the most.. lol.. i died..
so i stopped and tinking of goin to jubilee there de arcade.. baha was sayin there no games to play de.. bt cos 11.30pm liaos.. so i was tinking jus go there walk 1 round ba.. den i saw mario racing tht game there.. i was so excited and went to top up 2 dollar.. but end up i excited tht i realise.. my card cannt use for the machine.. cos my card is 2nd version de.. and the mario racing machine is the old version de.. den i was so zzz and went to play default 1.. after tht wendy remind me of the times tht we always love to play wif the para para machine.. den we went to play wif it since not much ppl ard oso.. as usual wendy 1,3 den i 2,4 and the 5th is take turns.. i more than 2yrs nv really played tht liaos.. i totally 4get how i used to play tht.. i got the arrows wif no miss at all for all the songs i played.. but the steps tht i used last time.. i cannt remember liao.. end up i was so fed up at there thinking whats the step lol..
after tht.. we went to S-11 to have a drink since 12am oni.. baha will wait for the last bus for him at 12.30am.. den we chit chat till 12.30am and baha went to take bus.. me and wendy went to 7-11 to buy salted peanut.. cos we was planning to go to my hse downstairs and sit down to chit chat till late nite.. lol.. long time nv do tht le.. due to the earlier rain i cannt go to the playgrd.. end up went to void deck there.. sit down and talked alot abt past things and all the things tht i was doin and planning now.. and i oso found out from the conversation tht tis wendy nv change still lol.. she's like my last time lidat.. keep on tinking of games and games.. spending money on game items lol.. i told her i nv played any games now except for those yahoo games lol..
den we chit chat till halfway i received a sms from andy huang again asking me i reach home liao or not.. den i realise is 3am lidat le.. den after i replied the sms by sayin not yet.. whn i reach home i will be on msn de.. den i talked awhile more wif wendy and ask her if she wana go home liao or not.. den as usual wendy sent me till my doorstep again.. jus like those times whn i got the other matter tht the period of time i dun dare to go home alone..
20/07/2008
tis day nth much ba.. talked in msn wif baha,andy huang they all after i woke up.. was actually planning to go to shernise performance at tampines de.. but too early liaos.. cos she asked me and andy huang to go gib her support.. but then too far for both of us liaos.. and 11am i jus woke up oni lol..
at ard 6pm i meet baha at the amk Jubilee there... den he went to buy the psp package.. den he chose the metallic blue.. sians sia.. keep on tio tempted to buy psp lite.. but nvm.. play till my old psp spoilt or what den tink again ba.. bought a psp usb cable since 8 dollar oni.. den after tht we went to take train to dohby ghaut.. cos we meetin jayce at there at 7.30pm.. reached ard 7pm and jus nice jayce smsed me asking me where am i.. lol i told her we reached earlier.. we at ps oredi.. we walk ard for awhile and i went to sasa to buy a nail clipper cos my fingernail cracked again.. den we went to the ichiban sushi to eat and i ordered the japanese de paper steamboat.. quite salty but nice taste still.. den oso ordered my fav salmon skin.. but cos i diet.. cannt eat too much.. i oni ate ard 1/2 of it den left it ther le.. after tht we went to the comics collection there to choose another hp accessories for my hp.. cos the one which i bought from minitoons is too jia lak liaos.. den after tht we went to mac cafe to have a drink and we talk awhile at mac till 10pm we went off liaos..
21/07/2008
woke up by the sms ringtone of my phone at ard 6.50am.. i tot who will so early sms me.. end up is andy huang.. but i replied 1 time and he nv reply again.. mus be went to slp again.. lol.. cos i oso went back to slp.. den 7.50am a sms from him again.. den i replied den slp back again.. whn 9am plus another sms.. den i cannt slp back liaos lol.. so end up i replied him and i dunno what to do.. was thinking of tryin to study.. but zzz.. as usual i cannt study at home alone de.. den end up i was watching TV all the way and playin com.. in msn andy huang and shernise they all keep sayin abt study de things.. den i oso nv study yet.. lol.. den i went to play a yahoo game with full screen de.. so nv realise tht andy huang was looking for me.. end up he called me and asked me the topics tht is impt.. i saw all so hardworking keep on studying.. end up i went to take things to eat and jus copy down the impt parts while i watching TV..
end up till nite time ard 8pm.. i went to eat dinner and andy huang called me and ask me to go to his hse there to study.. cos he oso cannt study well at home.. den i was thinkin lidat mayb i can oso study abit.. so i went to prepare and took a cab to his hse there den meet him at his hse downstairs.. we found a place to sit at and end up he called mac delivery.. askin for delivery to void deck.. i was blurred there whn he called it.. but end up i nv think much oso and start to copy the points while reading it.. tryin to memorise abit of it by the reading and copyin of it.. andy huang saw the notes tht i copied out and he lent it from me and end up he oso start to copy it lol.. den he ask me why i keep on copying.. the reason is cos i dun hab the memory to memorise it now liaos.. since is the last nite tht is able to study tis subject.. so i got to depend on the copyin and the reading liaos.. till 2am plus i wasnt able to finish all the parts yet.. bt andy huang is tired liaos.. so i asked him to go back 1st.. and i will go back soon.. but end up i smsed him asking for nearby mac.. at 1st plannin to go there to study till finish den go home or what de.. den end up i called him asking him what time he goin sch.. cos at 1st thinking stay till morning den straight go sch wif him de lol.. den i asked him he dun wana study le arh.. he at 1st tell me 4am he wake up and study.. den i was makin fun of him asking him lidat 4am he come down again ba.. den i no ned go home liao lidat.. lol.. save effort.. den i oso can study more.. bt nv la of cos.. and i disturb him till he so tired and gana fan by me till he say i very "qi guai" lol.. den end up ard 4am plus i went home and slp straight..
22/07/2008
early in the morning.. planning to wake up 7am at 1st de.. my mum told me she called me since 7am till 7.30am den i got response.. lol too tired le ba.. cos nv slp much lol.. den i went to wash up and received a sms from andy huang asking me where am i.. den after tht i replied him and he nv replied anything liaos.. tot he was angry wif me cos i disturb him alot ytd lol.. den i waited till ard 9am andy lee reached my hse area on cab.. and ask me to go down.. den on cab i was so seh till i dunno what to think abt.. even i reach canteen i oso dunno why my mind cannt get calm to study last minute.. samantha,andy lee,qiu yng they all saw me like im a mad woman lidat lol.. the 1st time i cannt get my mind calm down sia at the last minute.. den andy huang reached sch and he was keep on sayin abt goin to take sub paper for sure.. i was actually oso thinking abt it since i cant get anything into my mind.. samantha asked me some of the impt parts thing.. end up i cannt answer any of it..
wif the mindset of die liaos la.. or taking sub paper liaos.. i went into the exam room.. whn i settle down.. i started to read the 8 questions.. and was surprise tht my mind suddenly got some of the points came out.. so i faster write in pencil on the question paper b4 i 4get again.. den end up i used to points and answered 5questions.. 1st time i wrote so much sia.. but still ok la actually.. quite alot of nonsense inside though.. hopefully can pass ba..
i came out at ard 12.20pm.. thinking was quite late liaos.. tot alot of them went off le.. end up surprised tht andy huang,shernise,catherine all habent come out yet sia.. power lehs.. they wrote till 12.50pm plus den come out.. i noe they all still inside exam room although we different rooms.. cos i went to see if andy huang's car is ard still or not.. end up still ard.. and i went to meet up wif darry and andy lee and went to the wooden bench beside canteen and sit down.. andy huang called me at ard 12.50pm.. at 1st he bluff me say he at bukit batok area liaos.. den end up i noe he was bluffing cos cannt b tht fast de lol... den i asked him to come to where am i and meet up wif us.. den awhile after he say abt the exam things.. he went to smoke den shernise came out le.. hopefully all can pass ba.. all seems like thinking 50 50 chance lidat lol.. andy huang power lo.. he wrote 2 booklets sia.. i oni wrote 1 full booklet.. and my hand oredi super tired liaos.. but andy huang said he wrote more nonsense and examples than points.. cos he nv study much..
den we decided to go eat lunch at somewhere ard and we put shernise alight at commonwealth mrt station cos she ned to rush home to study BA.. we went to a place and eat.. i ordered a super plain porridge and a super salty "ladyfingers" and "eggplant".. i ate ard half of it and dun feel like eating it liaos.. den we was chit chatting at there till ard 2pm plus.. den andy lee and darry went off 1st.. cos darry goin to meet his gf and andy lee was goin to the mrt station and heading to bugis.. whn they goin off.. andy lee accidently made andy huang dropped his fone onto the grd.. and i was so shocked of it cos i nv saw what happened lol.. after awhile they went off le..
so i went off with andy huang and while i was on the car i was thinking tht.. so fast one of the last module ends liaos.. after this course ends.. wonder if we all still can come out chit chat and eat jus lidat or not sia.. den oso thinking whether will there be any of them going to advance diploma same time wif me or not.. hope tht there will be.. cos or else i got to go alone again.. will be super bored de lo.. den whn i was thinking.. andy huang keep on asking me to share wif him what im thinking.. den i keep on dun wan say den say no time liao cos reachin liaos.. end up he went to turn to the multi storey carpark and keep on turn up and down and keep asking me to share zzz.. bt then still end up i went off at bukit batok mrt station there.. den i was thinkin of goin to westmall to walk ard.. cos was reli bored if i lidat go home do nth again..den i was discussing somethings wif andy lee on fone when i was at westmall walking ard.. den i went home at ard 4pm plus.. at 1st called baha to meet me at westmall cos he ask me to go eat wif him at central at 1st.. bt end up his mum cook le.. so nv meet le.. after i reach home my mind was thinking abt the things i was tokin abt wif andy lee.. den 5pm plus he called me wif his hse fone.. and was telling me some of the things tht he was thinking.. den my mum came back and i went to play wif com again.. was so tired and boring.. bt cannt get to slp sia..
all the way in front of the computer and TV till 3am.. den i went to slp after tht.. whole day.. i realise.. i nv study anything abt BA still LOL..
written at 8:44 PM
Thursday, July 17, 200817/07/2008 afternoon - 18/07/2008 morning
17/07/2008 afternoon - night
afternoon keep on thinkin and thinkin what will really happened to me..
but evening i heard tht he's willing to put down all the things tht he do le..
i was quite happy tht he was sayin all this.. although it might not be all tht i happy abt.. but is ok ba.. cos since he thinks lidat... den lidat ba.. i dun wana ppl say i fake or what de.. so now i jus sincerely be a frd of him.. if he neds any ideas or what.. he can anytime come ask me as long as he likes..
the feeling at tht time is like.. hmm.. relieved.. after tht i immediately think of an answer to tell my mum what happened.. cos i cfm tht she will surely ask me immediately whn im back home de.. end up i tell my mum de is all i ownself cre8 de.. hais.. i told her tis 1 is last yr de thing le.. the person jus come and talk to me nia.. not reli tht serious.. den oso i bluff her say the money is jus 300 nia la.. end up still gana scolding.. but nvm la.. at least she nv scold me tht much compare to tht time 1500 and the 900 which she noes i lend to someone..
anyways.. was able to eat well for dinner den end up go eat alot lol.. after dinner still eat yoghurt and drink yoghurt drink.. dunno why jus feel like dun care anything for the time and jus eat whatever i wana eat..
i sit beside my sis and watch her play games while im tryin to study abit.. end up i watch game more than i write lol.. until 12am my sis went to slp.. den i watch TV while tryin to write out abit of the impt points.. 2am plus super tired den i went to slp while listening to songs i like..
18/07/2008 Morning - Afternoon
today i can relax and study liaos.. but i hope tht tis time round i really able to be relax for long..
anyways.. jus to say tht i will still able to be the frd tht will be trying my best to gib him any suggestion or a listening ear if he needs it.. even if he thinks tht im still the new ivy tht dun care abt him at all.. i wun disturb him but if he comes and talk to me.. i will show the concern of mine to him as a frd.. thts all i wana say.. as belle says.. is up to him to wake up now.. i wish him all the best too.. remember YOU CAN DO IT IF YOU WORK FOR IT!!! i noe u dun like me to repeat the sentence tht i always said to u.. but even if u dun wan to remember tht is me say de.. take it as Your family and frds believes in you~ you sure will be back the Nigel you used to be de.. Jiayou~
Anyways.. belle i not really tht angry with u or what liaos.. is jus tht.. tht period of time.. i really heard too much of different things.... till my mind dunno how to react.. and oso.. tht time i asked jayce to help me ask u the thing.. i really nv even think of wana say another else de.. i jus wana see if ppl tell me de is truth or not.. even if is truth.. i wun do anything oso.. i will jus delete the thing thts all.. in fact u nv really did anything or say anything directly to me.. and i believe u oso got ur thinking.. so i dun blame anything.. u say those things which is nasty.. i nv put it in heart.. no matter what.. hopefully all the things will turn out to be the end of it now.. although is quite impossible to go back to the life we used to have.. but then in my heart i will remember the memories tht we shared b4.. all the best to you too.. i will still remember u as the da jie da.. ^_^
afternoon keep on thinkin and thinkin what will really happened to me..
but evening i heard tht he's willing to put down all the things tht he do le..
i was quite happy tht he was sayin all this.. although it might not be all tht i happy abt.. but is ok ba.. cos since he thinks lidat... den lidat ba.. i dun wana ppl say i fake or what de.. so now i jus sincerely be a frd of him.. if he neds any ideas or what.. he can anytime come ask me as long as he likes..
the feeling at tht time is like.. hmm.. relieved.. after tht i immediately think of an answer to tell my mum what happened.. cos i cfm tht she will surely ask me immediately whn im back home de.. end up i tell my mum de is all i ownself cre8 de.. hais.. i told her tis 1 is last yr de thing le.. the person jus come and talk to me nia.. not reli tht serious.. den oso i bluff her say the money is jus 300 nia la.. end up still gana scolding.. but nvm la.. at least she nv scold me tht much compare to tht time 1500 and the 900 which she noes i lend to someone..
anyways.. was able to eat well for dinner den end up go eat alot lol.. after dinner still eat yoghurt and drink yoghurt drink.. dunno why jus feel like dun care anything for the time and jus eat whatever i wana eat..
i sit beside my sis and watch her play games while im tryin to study abit.. end up i watch game more than i write lol.. until 12am my sis went to slp.. den i watch TV while tryin to write out abit of the impt points.. 2am plus super tired den i went to slp while listening to songs i like..
18/07/2008 Morning - Afternoon
today i can relax and study liaos.. but i hope tht tis time round i really able to be relax for long..
anyways.. jus to say tht i will still able to be the frd tht will be trying my best to gib him any suggestion or a listening ear if he needs it.. even if he thinks tht im still the new ivy tht dun care abt him at all.. i wun disturb him but if he comes and talk to me.. i will show the concern of mine to him as a frd.. thts all i wana say.. as belle says.. is up to him to wake up now.. i wish him all the best too.. remember YOU CAN DO IT IF YOU WORK FOR IT!!! i noe u dun like me to repeat the sentence tht i always said to u.. but even if u dun wan to remember tht is me say de.. take it as Your family and frds believes in you~ you sure will be back the Nigel you used to be de.. Jiayou~
Anyways.. belle i not really tht angry with u or what liaos.. is jus tht.. tht period of time.. i really heard too much of different things.... till my mind dunno how to react.. and oso.. tht time i asked jayce to help me ask u the thing.. i really nv even think of wana say another else de.. i jus wana see if ppl tell me de is truth or not.. even if is truth.. i wun do anything oso.. i will jus delete the thing thts all.. in fact u nv really did anything or say anything directly to me.. and i believe u oso got ur thinking.. so i dun blame anything.. u say those things which is nasty.. i nv put it in heart.. no matter what.. hopefully all the things will turn out to be the end of it now.. although is quite impossible to go back to the life we used to have.. but then in my heart i will remember the memories tht we shared b4.. all the best to you too.. i will still remember u as the da jie da.. ^_^
written at 6:20 PM
Wednesday, July 16, 200815/07/2008 - 17/07/2008 morning
tis 2 days was kind of a big nightmare tht i have.. if i really was in a nightmare.. pls let me out of tis.. who can save me out from tis terrible nightmare..
15/07/2008
busy studying at office and do some invoice and quotations..
den at evening went to school.. reach at 7.30pm and andy huang tell me he will be late..
i went in and sit together wif shernise.. den was listening to what the teacher says cos is all exam impt points.. but end up 8plus teacher release us and say thts the end of the lesson liaos.. den andy huang say he reaching soon.. so me and shernise waited for him outside at the back gate.. and i was toking happily wif shernise abt alot things while waiting.. den andy reached and he say he go eat dinner 1st.. den ask us to take our book along cos he wana noe whats the impt points.. i helped him to note out those points tht teacher said.. den he order a very big plate of food and ask us to share.. i at 1st reject cos i ate bread at class liaos.. end up both come and say me cos they almost every lesson lookin at me taking bread as dinner nia.. whn the big plate of food come.. andy put a small plate in front of me.. and took some of each type of food and put into the plate in front of me.. den shernise keep on beside say eat la.. cos she cant bear to see me everytime hand trembling.. i dun wana let them worried abt me.. so i ate it.. and ordered mango juice too.. after eating.. we was toking abt our life things.. as usual i cant share wif them abt my problems.. cos i dun wana them to get worried.. and so instead of i say.. i turn to ask shernise to say.. and was toking abt her life all the while.. in the middle of the conversation.. they realise tht my face expression changed after lookin at a sms.. they both noe abit of what happened to me b4.. and 1st time i cried in front of classmate at may or june.. oso in front of them.. they guess tio what happened to me again.. and even ask me to dun cry and andy keep tryin to make me smile.. i did make myself smile and continue tokin to them.. i keep telling myself.. i cannt lidat..
den send shernise till her hse there.. and bcos i noe they both on car sure will keep an wei me.. i act tht i was asleep on the car.. until shernise got down.. andy woke me up.. and keep suan me say isit i wana cry again.. i noe he's tryin to make me laugh wif all his cold jokes.. den whn reach his hse area there.. at 1st the plan is i taking cab and go home from tht area.. den end up.. bcos i saw tht sms.. sayin abt the someone will be putting things outside my hse door again and he will hang ard my hse area.. i dun dare to go home liaos.. my mum was calling me asking me what time goin home and i bluff her i reaching soon.. end up andy accompany me talk for awhile at the void deck.. and i reli reli duno what sld i do.. end up cos he's too tired but i still cannt go home.. he force himself to be awake to stay down there.. i was all the way tinking wat sld i do.. until i nv realise tht.. hais.. what have i done to shernise and andy again.. isnt tht i wana be strong and happi in front of them.. this diploma lesson is goin to be all over le.. i jus wana leave some happi smiles image in front of them.. and even after the diploma.. we might be meeting out lesser.. but at least i wun be oni leaving the crying image to them.. end up i push myself to try to make fun of andy.. i noe he can see tht im forcing myself to do tht.. and he stop me halfway and tell me to go home.. cos my mum called me again and tell me she still waiting for me.. my mum 1st time waited me till 1am plus still dun wana slp sia.. i made her worried abt me again.. after tht call.. i was still tinkin sld i go home or not.. end up while im thinking.. andy snatched my bag and fetch a cab and ask me to go home 1st.. dont worry abt the things.. and whn i reach home sms him to tell him..
while in the cab my tears dropped finally.. i was feeling so terrible.. keep on thinking tht my hse area there... the fear tht came into me.. is even bigger than the fear for any of the perverts or what ard my hse area.. whn i reach my hse bus stop there.. my every step was walking so heavily.. i keep thinking what sld i do.. den i told myself.. tis is my hse lehs.. what am i scared of.. i nv went home b4 wif such a fear.. last time bcos of the other ex.. i oso got scared of all tis.. but tht time wendy due to both of us nothing to do.. she always send me till hse door den go off.. but now im all alone facing all tis.. wanted to call wendy or whoever to talk to me on fone while i walking home.. but end up i scared tht everyone was asleep.. alot got work and sch.. every single step i took.. i took a deep breath.. heavy step.. till all the way to my hse door.. whn i walk into my room.. i relieved a very big breath.. but my tears started to drop..
after i get changed all tht.. i started to tink.. all tis cannt continue.. if continue lidat.. all the precious people ard me will sooner or later start to worry abt me le.. i cant let my family noe anything.. if not my mum will be very worried abt me.. i dun wana see her cry for me anymore.. my phone was receiving slow messages and no reception.. i oso dunno the reason.. but i oni noe tht.. i woke up i realise.. there's alot of messages and even voicemail from shernise and andy.. end up i still made them worried abt me again..
16/07/2008
was thinkin what sld i do whn on the way to office.. and i was thinking.. if im able to get him out of the memories tht he wanted to stay in oni.. will maybe really start him his new life and i oso can really solve all tis and live a simple life.. if he can start a new life.. im really sincere tht i can be a frd for him to lend him a listening ear or gib some suggestions if he neds help in any problem.. but all he wants is go out wif him.. im so confirm for myself tht i really cannt make myself to go out wif him.. cos the fear there.. ytd nite oni he tell me he was at my hse area.. im oredi shivering.. cannt imagine wht will happened if i agreed to go out wif him..
was tryin to tell him tht get a brand new life for himself.. cos is really better for him.. den end up he jus wana stay at the dreamland tht he created for himself.. wif jus the memories of the past.. i dunno what can i do.. and what i can say de i oredi said le.. i tot tht i will jus tell him to go tink abt it more... and if he started to have the will to wana try to change.. he can come tell me anytime in msn.. end up i told him b4 he have the will to wana try to change.. dun ned come and gimme anything at my hse door or stay at my hse area here.. end up he told me he will go there as long as he like and feels like.. and oso he will put things outside my hse whenever he want.. i cant imagine the life ahead for me now.. the moment he said this.. i was full of different emotions.. the anger.. the sadness.. the fears.. i cannt describe oni by words how painful is my feeling at tht point of time.. i can ever curse myself to die b4 21yrs old jus to ask him dun come to my hse area all tis.. jus tis small part of area.. let me stay peacefully ard this small area wif my family.. thts all i wanted now.. i can let everyone scold me.. i can even scold myself.. i can let him scold all he wants.. he wan scold me what i oso wun mind.. i jus hope for tht small peace.. end up no matter wht i said still no use.. he still insist as the place is not i buy de.. ya i noe is not i buy de.. but i lived there so many yrs le.. and living in amk is since the day i born.. i nv say whole amk he cannt come.. is jus i hope he wun be always stayin ard my hse area.. cos i cannt imagine everyday whn i go home.. i ned to go home wif fear.. and ard my hse area.. all those places tht i like.. wun be able to go anymore.. i asked him to sms me what he wants me to do so tht he wun always come to my hse area here and oso let me live in oni tis small piece of area peacefully.. he gave me the answer.. is what i expected.. is still go out wif him or gib him a chance..
whn i was on car.. i looked out the window.. lookin at the nite sky.. my tears dropped.. today my tears dropped alot.. during office wif his conversation.. in car.. i looked up the sky.. tinkin what can i do.. i really jus wished to have tis kind of simple life tht i used to have.. he really wins.. in the way.. i cannt be strong anymore.. at least not for recently.. i cried all the way.. my dad drop me at the carpark there.. and i didnt dare to face my dad.. cos of my cryin face.. i faster jus walk off.. and i sitted at my hse downstairs.. i cannt stop the tears whn i was smsing him to tell him and beg him.. tell him my those fears tht i have for him.. beg him to gimme back all tis.. i really dunno where else can i go.. i cant leave my parents alone.. i cannt bcos of myself.. want whole family to move out from amk area too.. i cant able to leave tis country oso due to my exams.. and how much time can i stay away.. even i run to anywhere.. i still cant leave singapore.. im really like a lost little girl whn i was sitting downstairs.. tears dropping and keep lookin ard.. i looking ard cos i scared he was ard the area again.. i keep tryin to stop the tears.. and i put alot of concealer and foundation tryin to cover the crying side.. so tht i able to go home and didnt have to let my mum worried abt me.. end up i finally can go up.. went straight into my room.. and start to drop tears again.. but awhile oni my sis started to knock the door.. den i faster try to stop from cryin again and got changed and went out..
went to the toilet and at 1st wana eat dinner liaos.. my mum shout at me saying someone finding me.. passing message de.. actually whn i went to toilet i saw ppl knocking door.. i oredi got tht feeling tht all the things tht i tried to protect will be gone today liaos.. my mum still say me i know woodland de ppl mehs.. why so serious lidat again.. den end up i saw is moses.. actually i was relieved at 1st.. tht wasnt the main person.. if not.. i tink i will go mad.. but moses end up sayin he wanted to talk to me abt things like the main person owe me the money all tht kind of probs.. my mum heard it.. and i noe i failed again.. im prepared to let my mum scold whn the nxt time i face her again.. she even say me in front of moses.. sayin i very rich mehs.. everywhere lend ppl money.. end up alwAys tio tis kind of problems.. i dun wana let my mum hear all my problems.. so i took the keys and ask moses to move to another place to talk.. my mum at 1st dun let me go out of the hse to talk.. but i insist.. cos i got no choice.. i dun wana let her tink her small nuer is so useless.. and so big difference wif my sister.. my sister nv have tis kind of probs b4.. yet in my life.. so many.. till she cannt stop worrying abt me..
i at 1st tot moses is here to tell me off.. end up actually he was jus here to understand what happened.. i told him all the things tht happened.. at least finally there's someone to let me say out all the fears and sadness.. and what kind of simple little life tht i jus wana have.. he understand whn i say i jus wana protect my family.. he say he can see tht my mum cannt stop worrying abt me.. from the way my mum reacts.. i told him those fears.. he can see from myself oso.. although 1st time i saw him oni.. bt since someone who noes all tis things.. come to understand from me what happened.. i told him whatever i was thinking.. at 1st i was talking wif tears keep dropping.. till he gave me tissue.. and i realise my mum keep looking out.. den i faster stopped.. and talk wif him nicely wifout tears.. i forced myself to stop the tears.. i oso dunno y i jus said out all the things tht i feel abt recently to him.. actually i dunno he came to help him or what de.. but i jus say out all.. cos i oredi failed in hiding from my parents.. somemore whole family knows i gt prob again.. i even told moses... my life is being destroyed.. in jus tis few mths.. i being tryin to get strong and stronger.. but jus tht tis time round.. i really cannt le.. i asked him.. what sld i do.. since he noes how i feel and how i fear abt the things now.. although there is still no ans abt how am i able to stop all tis things.. but at least got someone who is able to listen to me say out all and oso understands abt how im feeling de..
i told him oso.. tis is not the 1st time.. due to my relationship de things.. make my parents worried abt me every single day.. and even ppl come up to my hse jus for me and all kinds of things.. since 1st June.. i really forced myself to be strong to face everything.. and i wana gib my mum see tht her small nuer oso got stronger and can handle all by her own le.. wana go for all the studies for my own future and oso to let my mum realise i started to get hardworking and i wana let her can be able to rest well soon after i got a better income stable job.. all i study is jus wana gib my family a better easier life.. my parents everyday worked so hard.. and my mum nv even buy things to gib her own much.. all her salary goes to tis family and house.. i wan to let her rest more and my dad oso.. so i got myself the motivation to study all the way and go out to find a good stable job to take over the help tis house.. say till here i really cant stop cryin.. why i was living wif such a stong mindset of studying and the motivation.. yet in jus 1 nite.. everything seems like get alot further from me.. i told him i might be naive sometimes and he knows.. but he say he understand tht is actually senseable.. he's the 1st person who is ard the someone de.. who told me tht he understand the things i wanted to do..
God.. pls tell me what i can do to stop all tis.. i really out of methods and i oredi being very very depressed le.. i being cryin non stop from ytd nite till even now.. 10.40am le.. im still cryin.. isit im so bad to get all tis retribution??? to get all tis things happening to me.. if i really ned to give so much retribution.. can u jus give me other retribution?? i rather u take away my legs or my hands.. or my eyes or whatever.. rather than gimme all tis kind of things.. i will nv eat steak or beef all tht anymore.. as long u let me out of all tis.. what u wan me to do i oso willing.. pls help me god.. i really got no one to go to le.. i have learnt my lesson.. i wont anyhow let other ppl noe abt my hse and the area le.. i jus wan u to help me tis time.. i really dunno what else i can do le.. all i ask for is tht he will let me go.. let me live peacefully.. he tells me he loves me.. but tis love.. is really too heavy and scary for me.. why he jus cannt realise.. how much fear he has given me.. he chose not to let go of me.. but he says he loves me.. if i really be wif him.. i will be oni cheating on him.. i dun wana bluff him jus to get myself safe.. i dun wana give him fake hope tht still got chance.. but moses was telling me at least gib him 1% of chance.. or else he wont gib up de.. mus i really do tht? i dun wana bluff him.. but i more wanted to get back the peace..
what is love?? is this really called as love too?? no matter what he do to me.. even i will be so sad so mad or so depress.. he still jus wana do it.. all he wants is to patch back wif him to prove tht he loves me.. but why he jus nv realise tht.. he loves me... but i got no love feeling for him.. oni those fears for him.. is this really gona work out.. im definitely 100% cfm tht i wont have anymore love feeling for him le... moses say mayb i nv gib him a very confirm answer to him.. thts y he still putting hope tht can be back together.. i oredi told moses.. i did told him.. 100% definitely wont be able to work out.. but jus he cant take it.. if i really sacrifice my own happiness and go back to him.. but whn together.. i wont be the one who will able to give him any love.. will oni be the body of me who will be beside him.. is that really what he want?? thts what i mean.. isnt tht if really love tht person.. if tht person really found a new love or what.. as long the person we love is happy.. we sld really "zhu fu" them de mehs?? what he can gain from making me sad or scared oni? i being tryin so hard for tis 2mth plus.. in the end i still lost.. what is his love all abt?? i oso not sure le.. he loves which part of me?? isit heart?? mind?? or body?? cant be everything of me.. cos if he loves everything of me.. he wun be doin all tis even though he's hurting me so much till i become lidat.. he wun even say tht he wun care anything even if i got new bf.. he will jus do what he wants and he likes.. even my happiness is gone from me.. my own smiles gone from me.. he will jus do it..
whn midnite 12am plus.. moses went off.. i went in msn.. and straight after i went in.. jayce came to msn me.. she asked me abt things.. and i told her what happened.. although i wont use her suggestion.. even though alot of my frds all tell me the same thing.. i jus dun wana be so heartless.. but i oso really dunno what can i do.. i jus wana help him to get on to his own life.. so that he can realise tht in life lots of things are waiting for him to do.. i jus cant bear to see him lidat and wana let him wake up and work hard for his own future and for his mum.. i oso got tell moses tht i respect her mum really alot.. her mum to me is a very nice mother oso.. even though she nv saw me b4.. from what i know abt her.. she's a very wei da de mother..
17/07/2008
early in the morning whn my mum wake me up.. i dont dare to go out of my room until my mum went to work.. i cant able to make myself face her now.. i dunno what sld i say.. whn i walking down to wait for my dad.. my sis was asking me what happened.. hais.. i cant make myself tell her all the things.. i oso wana behave like her.. face the things strong and wont give up.. but then no matter how i change myself i still lost.. too much pressure is giving me now.. i oni told my sis tht ytd tht guy is a my frd de frd.. den he jus come and ask me to tell him the situation to let him understand oni.. den end up my sis say why always i noe de frds.. all like so siao lidat de.. hais.. i oso dunno.. mayb my past life im the one who is siao?? den they are the victims which my present life now mus repay them?? i oso wish tht i will know all tis will happened whn i 1st day meet all tis person..
after sis alight at her office there.. i alone sit at the behind row seats.. and my tears drop again.. my whole mind was thinking.. how am i going to protect my own family from tis now.. do i really have to move out of the house.. but i cant bear to let them alone.. even i can move.. where i can still go?? frds all have their own work and studies.. relative in spore i dont have much.. go msia is impossible cos im goin to exam soon.. where else can i go?? everyday slp at somewhere de void deck or park?? even i able to leave the house.. i oni the most can leave for 1wk.. or elsei cannt imagine the image tht my mum will be worrying abt me and keep crying.. i was wondering will my mum tink tht if the 2nd nuer who is born into this world by her de is not me.. is my tht so called er jie who has passed away wifout being born out.. if really she came to tis world.. she will nv gib birth to me le.. den mayb she wun be always worryin le..
whn i reach office.. my tears still keep on dropping.. i keep on putting foundation to cover so tht my dad wont realise.. till now.. my dad went off.. den i come to write de.. cos i noe while im typing tis.. i will surely drop alot of tears again..
while typing.. my sis and andy huang is talking wif me in msn.. andy huang saw my nick and guess tio mus be something happened le.. den i roughly told him.. i know he dunno how to help me oso.. but at least i appreciate tht he is tryin to make me smile abit still.. and ask me to focus on exam oso.. if not my advance diploma wont be able to tmake it liaos.. hais.. i oso hope i really able to study all the way peacefully.. but i really ned to solve all tis at tis timing.. if not.. even after exam.. i goin to advance diploma.. till degree.. all the way keep dragging lidat and my life got no peace at all.. i dun tink i will be able to take it much longer le lo..
Lastly.. if u really happened to be reading.. u sld noe who u r.. Can just treat tht i beg of u.. to let me go peacefully.. at least tis few mths.. let me live peacefully and happily wif those who are precious to me 1st.. im so sorry tht im still not the strong girl tht can handle all tis... if u still wana do all tis.. pls let me stay happily and peacefully for tis yr wif my precious people ard me at least.. after tht how u wana punish me or what i oso wun mind le.. jus few mths of peaceful life.. i reli dun wana see anything of this happened recently.. i still dunno how to face my mum.. i still not tht strong to handle all the pressure and fears..
i dunno what kind of Ivy will i become now.. is all really depends on your decision le.. is either u let me continue to be the Ivy who has a strong determination of doing the things for her future and live happily wif her family and frds and u let her go and wish tht she will have her happiness... or u want me to b the Ivy tht will enjoy her life wif family and frds for tis yr.. and after tis yr.. no more smiles or laughter from her anymore.. like a robot Ivy or souless Ivy after tis yr.. i hope moses have told u what am i facing now just because of all this u did.. and if he did.. i really hope u will realise it and let it go lidat.. if really u will do tht.. even the nxt life.. u wan me to be whatever thing i oso wun mind.. u wan me to be ur pet or ur food or even a pest to let u kill .. i oso dun mind.. treat as i owe u de.. i really feel very regret abt all tis things.. so sorry tht i sldnt let all this few mths de things to happen.. if i nv appear in tht 28th oct 2007 partyworld room.. i might still be happily living wif my family and oso u will be still happily wif ur frds and family.. if i nv appear on tht time.. i will nv make the original u to bcome the u now le.. i really regret tht i ruined ur life.. i nv thought b4 tht something lidat will happened.. all the while is all i started de.. all the things tht makes the situation bcome tis bad.. is all my fault.. i sldnt be tht close to u till i didnt realise tht after 4mths plus the situation will bcome lidat.. i nv knew tht the life will become so different.. i really hope tht whn u woke up today.. u will realise all the things.. and will tell me tht u will let go of me.. wish me all the best for my life.. forever we will just stay as normal frd.. although i noe is almost a 0% chance tht tis will happened.. but maybe is just a hope ba.. to at least make my mind fake for tis for awhile..
徘了徊了走了 错了过了等了累了全都困了 烦的乱的等的 都是真的 疯的想的念的 不安的焦虑的 复杂的梦过的 拥有的失去的怎么忘呢 我的你的他的 好的坏的难的灰的蓝的黄的 酸的甜的苦的 忽然发现这一刻我不想你了 我的快乐 会回来的 只要清楚曾爱得那么深刻 不准问值不值得 我的快乐 会回来的 离开不是谁给了谁的选择 我的快乐 会回来的 真的不行那么只得放了 放了...... 忘了......
15/07/2008
busy studying at office and do some invoice and quotations..
den at evening went to school.. reach at 7.30pm and andy huang tell me he will be late..
i went in and sit together wif shernise.. den was listening to what the teacher says cos is all exam impt points.. but end up 8plus teacher release us and say thts the end of the lesson liaos.. den andy huang say he reaching soon.. so me and shernise waited for him outside at the back gate.. and i was toking happily wif shernise abt alot things while waiting.. den andy reached and he say he go eat dinner 1st.. den ask us to take our book along cos he wana noe whats the impt points.. i helped him to note out those points tht teacher said.. den he order a very big plate of food and ask us to share.. i at 1st reject cos i ate bread at class liaos.. end up both come and say me cos they almost every lesson lookin at me taking bread as dinner nia.. whn the big plate of food come.. andy put a small plate in front of me.. and took some of each type of food and put into the plate in front of me.. den shernise keep on beside say eat la.. cos she cant bear to see me everytime hand trembling.. i dun wana let them worried abt me.. so i ate it.. and ordered mango juice too.. after eating.. we was toking abt our life things.. as usual i cant share wif them abt my problems.. cos i dun wana them to get worried.. and so instead of i say.. i turn to ask shernise to say.. and was toking abt her life all the while.. in the middle of the conversation.. they realise tht my face expression changed after lookin at a sms.. they both noe abit of what happened to me b4.. and 1st time i cried in front of classmate at may or june.. oso in front of them.. they guess tio what happened to me again.. and even ask me to dun cry and andy keep tryin to make me smile.. i did make myself smile and continue tokin to them.. i keep telling myself.. i cannt lidat..
den send shernise till her hse there.. and bcos i noe they both on car sure will keep an wei me.. i act tht i was asleep on the car.. until shernise got down.. andy woke me up.. and keep suan me say isit i wana cry again.. i noe he's tryin to make me laugh wif all his cold jokes.. den whn reach his hse area there.. at 1st the plan is i taking cab and go home from tht area.. den end up.. bcos i saw tht sms.. sayin abt the someone will be putting things outside my hse door again and he will hang ard my hse area.. i dun dare to go home liaos.. my mum was calling me asking me what time goin home and i bluff her i reaching soon.. end up andy accompany me talk for awhile at the void deck.. and i reli reli duno what sld i do.. end up cos he's too tired but i still cannt go home.. he force himself to be awake to stay down there.. i was all the way tinking wat sld i do.. until i nv realise tht.. hais.. what have i done to shernise and andy again.. isnt tht i wana be strong and happi in front of them.. this diploma lesson is goin to be all over le.. i jus wana leave some happi smiles image in front of them.. and even after the diploma.. we might be meeting out lesser.. but at least i wun be oni leaving the crying image to them.. end up i push myself to try to make fun of andy.. i noe he can see tht im forcing myself to do tht.. and he stop me halfway and tell me to go home.. cos my mum called me again and tell me she still waiting for me.. my mum 1st time waited me till 1am plus still dun wana slp sia.. i made her worried abt me again.. after tht call.. i was still tinkin sld i go home or not.. end up while im thinking.. andy snatched my bag and fetch a cab and ask me to go home 1st.. dont worry abt the things.. and whn i reach home sms him to tell him..
while in the cab my tears dropped finally.. i was feeling so terrible.. keep on thinking tht my hse area there... the fear tht came into me.. is even bigger than the fear for any of the perverts or what ard my hse area.. whn i reach my hse bus stop there.. my every step was walking so heavily.. i keep thinking what sld i do.. den i told myself.. tis is my hse lehs.. what am i scared of.. i nv went home b4 wif such a fear.. last time bcos of the other ex.. i oso got scared of all tis.. but tht time wendy due to both of us nothing to do.. she always send me till hse door den go off.. but now im all alone facing all tis.. wanted to call wendy or whoever to talk to me on fone while i walking home.. but end up i scared tht everyone was asleep.. alot got work and sch.. every single step i took.. i took a deep breath.. heavy step.. till all the way to my hse door.. whn i walk into my room.. i relieved a very big breath.. but my tears started to drop..
after i get changed all tht.. i started to tink.. all tis cannt continue.. if continue lidat.. all the precious people ard me will sooner or later start to worry abt me le.. i cant let my family noe anything.. if not my mum will be very worried abt me.. i dun wana see her cry for me anymore.. my phone was receiving slow messages and no reception.. i oso dunno the reason.. but i oni noe tht.. i woke up i realise.. there's alot of messages and even voicemail from shernise and andy.. end up i still made them worried abt me again..
16/07/2008
was thinkin what sld i do whn on the way to office.. and i was thinking.. if im able to get him out of the memories tht he wanted to stay in oni.. will maybe really start him his new life and i oso can really solve all tis and live a simple life.. if he can start a new life.. im really sincere tht i can be a frd for him to lend him a listening ear or gib some suggestions if he neds help in any problem.. but all he wants is go out wif him.. im so confirm for myself tht i really cannt make myself to go out wif him.. cos the fear there.. ytd nite oni he tell me he was at my hse area.. im oredi shivering.. cannt imagine wht will happened if i agreed to go out wif him..
was tryin to tell him tht get a brand new life for himself.. cos is really better for him.. den end up he jus wana stay at the dreamland tht he created for himself.. wif jus the memories of the past.. i dunno what can i do.. and what i can say de i oredi said le.. i tot tht i will jus tell him to go tink abt it more... and if he started to have the will to wana try to change.. he can come tell me anytime in msn.. end up i told him b4 he have the will to wana try to change.. dun ned come and gimme anything at my hse door or stay at my hse area here.. end up he told me he will go there as long as he like and feels like.. and oso he will put things outside my hse whenever he want.. i cant imagine the life ahead for me now.. the moment he said this.. i was full of different emotions.. the anger.. the sadness.. the fears.. i cannt describe oni by words how painful is my feeling at tht point of time.. i can ever curse myself to die b4 21yrs old jus to ask him dun come to my hse area all tis.. jus tis small part of area.. let me stay peacefully ard this small area wif my family.. thts all i wanted now.. i can let everyone scold me.. i can even scold myself.. i can let him scold all he wants.. he wan scold me what i oso wun mind.. i jus hope for tht small peace.. end up no matter wht i said still no use.. he still insist as the place is not i buy de.. ya i noe is not i buy de.. but i lived there so many yrs le.. and living in amk is since the day i born.. i nv say whole amk he cannt come.. is jus i hope he wun be always stayin ard my hse area.. cos i cannt imagine everyday whn i go home.. i ned to go home wif fear.. and ard my hse area.. all those places tht i like.. wun be able to go anymore.. i asked him to sms me what he wants me to do so tht he wun always come to my hse area here and oso let me live in oni tis small piece of area peacefully.. he gave me the answer.. is what i expected.. is still go out wif him or gib him a chance..
whn i was on car.. i looked out the window.. lookin at the nite sky.. my tears dropped.. today my tears dropped alot.. during office wif his conversation.. in car.. i looked up the sky.. tinkin what can i do.. i really jus wished to have tis kind of simple life tht i used to have.. he really wins.. in the way.. i cannt be strong anymore.. at least not for recently.. i cried all the way.. my dad drop me at the carpark there.. and i didnt dare to face my dad.. cos of my cryin face.. i faster jus walk off.. and i sitted at my hse downstairs.. i cannt stop the tears whn i was smsing him to tell him and beg him.. tell him my those fears tht i have for him.. beg him to gimme back all tis.. i really dunno where else can i go.. i cant leave my parents alone.. i cannt bcos of myself.. want whole family to move out from amk area too.. i cant able to leave tis country oso due to my exams.. and how much time can i stay away.. even i run to anywhere.. i still cant leave singapore.. im really like a lost little girl whn i was sitting downstairs.. tears dropping and keep lookin ard.. i looking ard cos i scared he was ard the area again.. i keep tryin to stop the tears.. and i put alot of concealer and foundation tryin to cover the crying side.. so tht i able to go home and didnt have to let my mum worried abt me.. end up i finally can go up.. went straight into my room.. and start to drop tears again.. but awhile oni my sis started to knock the door.. den i faster try to stop from cryin again and got changed and went out..
went to the toilet and at 1st wana eat dinner liaos.. my mum shout at me saying someone finding me.. passing message de.. actually whn i went to toilet i saw ppl knocking door.. i oredi got tht feeling tht all the things tht i tried to protect will be gone today liaos.. my mum still say me i know woodland de ppl mehs.. why so serious lidat again.. den end up i saw is moses.. actually i was relieved at 1st.. tht wasnt the main person.. if not.. i tink i will go mad.. but moses end up sayin he wanted to talk to me abt things like the main person owe me the money all tht kind of probs.. my mum heard it.. and i noe i failed again.. im prepared to let my mum scold whn the nxt time i face her again.. she even say me in front of moses.. sayin i very rich mehs.. everywhere lend ppl money.. end up alwAys tio tis kind of problems.. i dun wana let my mum hear all my problems.. so i took the keys and ask moses to move to another place to talk.. my mum at 1st dun let me go out of the hse to talk.. but i insist.. cos i got no choice.. i dun wana let her tink her small nuer is so useless.. and so big difference wif my sister.. my sister nv have tis kind of probs b4.. yet in my life.. so many.. till she cannt stop worrying abt me..
i at 1st tot moses is here to tell me off.. end up actually he was jus here to understand what happened.. i told him all the things tht happened.. at least finally there's someone to let me say out all the fears and sadness.. and what kind of simple little life tht i jus wana have.. he understand whn i say i jus wana protect my family.. he say he can see tht my mum cannt stop worrying abt me.. from the way my mum reacts.. i told him those fears.. he can see from myself oso.. although 1st time i saw him oni.. bt since someone who noes all tis things.. come to understand from me what happened.. i told him whatever i was thinking.. at 1st i was talking wif tears keep dropping.. till he gave me tissue.. and i realise my mum keep looking out.. den i faster stopped.. and talk wif him nicely wifout tears.. i forced myself to stop the tears.. i oso dunno y i jus said out all the things tht i feel abt recently to him.. actually i dunno he came to help him or what de.. but i jus say out all.. cos i oredi failed in hiding from my parents.. somemore whole family knows i gt prob again.. i even told moses... my life is being destroyed.. in jus tis few mths.. i being tryin to get strong and stronger.. but jus tht tis time round.. i really cannt le.. i asked him.. what sld i do.. since he noes how i feel and how i fear abt the things now.. although there is still no ans abt how am i able to stop all tis things.. but at least got someone who is able to listen to me say out all and oso understands abt how im feeling de..
i told him oso.. tis is not the 1st time.. due to my relationship de things.. make my parents worried abt me every single day.. and even ppl come up to my hse jus for me and all kinds of things.. since 1st June.. i really forced myself to be strong to face everything.. and i wana gib my mum see tht her small nuer oso got stronger and can handle all by her own le.. wana go for all the studies for my own future and oso to let my mum realise i started to get hardworking and i wana let her can be able to rest well soon after i got a better income stable job.. all i study is jus wana gib my family a better easier life.. my parents everyday worked so hard.. and my mum nv even buy things to gib her own much.. all her salary goes to tis family and house.. i wan to let her rest more and my dad oso.. so i got myself the motivation to study all the way and go out to find a good stable job to take over the help tis house.. say till here i really cant stop cryin.. why i was living wif such a stong mindset of studying and the motivation.. yet in jus 1 nite.. everything seems like get alot further from me.. i told him i might be naive sometimes and he knows.. but he say he understand tht is actually senseable.. he's the 1st person who is ard the someone de.. who told me tht he understand the things i wanted to do..
God.. pls tell me what i can do to stop all tis.. i really out of methods and i oredi being very very depressed le.. i being cryin non stop from ytd nite till even now.. 10.40am le.. im still cryin.. isit im so bad to get all tis retribution??? to get all tis things happening to me.. if i really ned to give so much retribution.. can u jus give me other retribution?? i rather u take away my legs or my hands.. or my eyes or whatever.. rather than gimme all tis kind of things.. i will nv eat steak or beef all tht anymore.. as long u let me out of all tis.. what u wan me to do i oso willing.. pls help me god.. i really got no one to go to le.. i have learnt my lesson.. i wont anyhow let other ppl noe abt my hse and the area le.. i jus wan u to help me tis time.. i really dunno what else i can do le.. all i ask for is tht he will let me go.. let me live peacefully.. he tells me he loves me.. but tis love.. is really too heavy and scary for me.. why he jus cannt realise.. how much fear he has given me.. he chose not to let go of me.. but he says he loves me.. if i really be wif him.. i will be oni cheating on him.. i dun wana bluff him jus to get myself safe.. i dun wana give him fake hope tht still got chance.. but moses was telling me at least gib him 1% of chance.. or else he wont gib up de.. mus i really do tht? i dun wana bluff him.. but i more wanted to get back the peace..
what is love?? is this really called as love too?? no matter what he do to me.. even i will be so sad so mad or so depress.. he still jus wana do it.. all he wants is to patch back wif him to prove tht he loves me.. but why he jus nv realise tht.. he loves me... but i got no love feeling for him.. oni those fears for him.. is this really gona work out.. im definitely 100% cfm tht i wont have anymore love feeling for him le... moses say mayb i nv gib him a very confirm answer to him.. thts y he still putting hope tht can be back together.. i oredi told moses.. i did told him.. 100% definitely wont be able to work out.. but jus he cant take it.. if i really sacrifice my own happiness and go back to him.. but whn together.. i wont be the one who will able to give him any love.. will oni be the body of me who will be beside him.. is that really what he want?? thts what i mean.. isnt tht if really love tht person.. if tht person really found a new love or what.. as long the person we love is happy.. we sld really "zhu fu" them de mehs?? what he can gain from making me sad or scared oni? i being tryin so hard for tis 2mth plus.. in the end i still lost.. what is his love all abt?? i oso not sure le.. he loves which part of me?? isit heart?? mind?? or body?? cant be everything of me.. cos if he loves everything of me.. he wun be doin all tis even though he's hurting me so much till i become lidat.. he wun even say tht he wun care anything even if i got new bf.. he will jus do what he wants and he likes.. even my happiness is gone from me.. my own smiles gone from me.. he will jus do it..
whn midnite 12am plus.. moses went off.. i went in msn.. and straight after i went in.. jayce came to msn me.. she asked me abt things.. and i told her what happened.. although i wont use her suggestion.. even though alot of my frds all tell me the same thing.. i jus dun wana be so heartless.. but i oso really dunno what can i do.. i jus wana help him to get on to his own life.. so that he can realise tht in life lots of things are waiting for him to do.. i jus cant bear to see him lidat and wana let him wake up and work hard for his own future and for his mum.. i oso got tell moses tht i respect her mum really alot.. her mum to me is a very nice mother oso.. even though she nv saw me b4.. from what i know abt her.. she's a very wei da de mother..
17/07/2008
early in the morning whn my mum wake me up.. i dont dare to go out of my room until my mum went to work.. i cant able to make myself face her now.. i dunno what sld i say.. whn i walking down to wait for my dad.. my sis was asking me what happened.. hais.. i cant make myself tell her all the things.. i oso wana behave like her.. face the things strong and wont give up.. but then no matter how i change myself i still lost.. too much pressure is giving me now.. i oni told my sis tht ytd tht guy is a my frd de frd.. den he jus come and ask me to tell him the situation to let him understand oni.. den end up my sis say why always i noe de frds.. all like so siao lidat de.. hais.. i oso dunno.. mayb my past life im the one who is siao?? den they are the victims which my present life now mus repay them?? i oso wish tht i will know all tis will happened whn i 1st day meet all tis person..
after sis alight at her office there.. i alone sit at the behind row seats.. and my tears drop again.. my whole mind was thinking.. how am i going to protect my own family from tis now.. do i really have to move out of the house.. but i cant bear to let them alone.. even i can move.. where i can still go?? frds all have their own work and studies.. relative in spore i dont have much.. go msia is impossible cos im goin to exam soon.. where else can i go?? everyday slp at somewhere de void deck or park?? even i able to leave the house.. i oni the most can leave for 1wk.. or elsei cannt imagine the image tht my mum will be worrying abt me and keep crying.. i was wondering will my mum tink tht if the 2nd nuer who is born into this world by her de is not me.. is my tht so called er jie who has passed away wifout being born out.. if really she came to tis world.. she will nv gib birth to me le.. den mayb she wun be always worryin le..
whn i reach office.. my tears still keep on dropping.. i keep on putting foundation to cover so tht my dad wont realise.. till now.. my dad went off.. den i come to write de.. cos i noe while im typing tis.. i will surely drop alot of tears again..
while typing.. my sis and andy huang is talking wif me in msn.. andy huang saw my nick and guess tio mus be something happened le.. den i roughly told him.. i know he dunno how to help me oso.. but at least i appreciate tht he is tryin to make me smile abit still.. and ask me to focus on exam oso.. if not my advance diploma wont be able to tmake it liaos.. hais.. i oso hope i really able to study all the way peacefully.. but i really ned to solve all tis at tis timing.. if not.. even after exam.. i goin to advance diploma.. till degree.. all the way keep dragging lidat and my life got no peace at all.. i dun tink i will be able to take it much longer le lo..
Lastly.. if u really happened to be reading.. u sld noe who u r.. Can just treat tht i beg of u.. to let me go peacefully.. at least tis few mths.. let me live peacefully and happily wif those who are precious to me 1st.. im so sorry tht im still not the strong girl tht can handle all tis... if u still wana do all tis.. pls let me stay happily and peacefully for tis yr wif my precious people ard me at least.. after tht how u wana punish me or what i oso wun mind le.. jus few mths of peaceful life.. i reli dun wana see anything of this happened recently.. i still dunno how to face my mum.. i still not tht strong to handle all the pressure and fears..
i dunno what kind of Ivy will i become now.. is all really depends on your decision le.. is either u let me continue to be the Ivy who has a strong determination of doing the things for her future and live happily wif her family and frds and u let her go and wish tht she will have her happiness... or u want me to b the Ivy tht will enjoy her life wif family and frds for tis yr.. and after tis yr.. no more smiles or laughter from her anymore.. like a robot Ivy or souless Ivy after tis yr.. i hope moses have told u what am i facing now just because of all this u did.. and if he did.. i really hope u will realise it and let it go lidat.. if really u will do tht.. even the nxt life.. u wan me to be whatever thing i oso wun mind.. u wan me to be ur pet or ur food or even a pest to let u kill .. i oso dun mind.. treat as i owe u de.. i really feel very regret abt all tis things.. so sorry tht i sldnt let all this few mths de things to happen.. if i nv appear in tht 28th oct 2007 partyworld room.. i might still be happily living wif my family and oso u will be still happily wif ur frds and family.. if i nv appear on tht time.. i will nv make the original u to bcome the u now le.. i really regret tht i ruined ur life.. i nv thought b4 tht something lidat will happened.. all the while is all i started de.. all the things tht makes the situation bcome tis bad.. is all my fault.. i sldnt be tht close to u till i didnt realise tht after 4mths plus the situation will bcome lidat.. i nv knew tht the life will become so different.. i really hope tht whn u woke up today.. u will realise all the things.. and will tell me tht u will let go of me.. wish me all the best for my life.. forever we will just stay as normal frd.. although i noe is almost a 0% chance tht tis will happened.. but maybe is just a hope ba.. to at least make my mind fake for tis for awhile..
徘了徊了走了 错了过了等了累了全都困了 烦的乱的等的 都是真的 疯的想的念的 不安的焦虑的 复杂的梦过的 拥有的失去的怎么忘呢 我的你的他的 好的坏的难的灰的蓝的黄的 酸的甜的苦的 忽然发现这一刻我不想你了 我的快乐 会回来的 只要清楚曾爱得那么深刻 不准问值不值得 我的快乐 会回来的 离开不是谁给了谁的选择 我的快乐 会回来的 真的不行那么只得放了 放了...... 忘了......
written at 6:18 PM
Sunday, July 13, 200813/07/2008
sunday i was so tired cos i was playin games and listening to music till 5am den slp..
den whn i woke up i blur blur went to wash up and put some basic make up..
den whn i walk till my hse downstairs den i realise my morning medicine habent eat yet.. den i faster rush up to eat den went down again..
while on the way to msia.. my relative frm china realise tht his work permit all tht like cannt go in msia liaos.. den we oso saw tht woodland checkpoint super long traffic jam.. so we put my china relative drop off at kranji mrt station there.. since is easier for him to go back to factory there.. den we change to go to Tuas checkpoint to try our luck there cos woodland de reli too kua zhang liaos..
whn we reach tuas checkpoint there.. oso got alot of cars.. but at least is alot shorter than woodland checkpoint de.. after we pass the msia checkpoint.. we need to pay for the "guo lu fei".. den i was shocked tht the price rised so much sia.. last time i remember is RM6.80 lidat.. now RM10.80.. my god..
we went to the coffee shop nearby which was quite popular for tour bus to go de.. we went there for breakfast.. and i was so sad tht alot things i love to eat de.. but all is too fattening.. den end up i oni ate abit of the "chee cheong fun".. den we went to a place and find my cousin de bf and buy durians and mangosteen from his dad.. we bought alot alot sia.. lol.. 25kg of durians and 9kg of mangosteen lol.. at 1st mangosteen oni took ard 6kg de.. den i kiasu want more.. cos i love mangosteen lol.. den after tht we went to Jusco and bought our usual things such as yoghurt drinks and milk and yakult.. den whn we went back to our car whn after shopping.. whn my dad open the car door.. he gave a very strange face.. i tot wht thing.. den end up whn i open den i realise.. the durian smell is super duper strong inside the whole car.. i cannt tahan the smell tht much sia.. cos if too strong i will vomit de.. den i faster open window den face outside lol..
den we went back and my family straight away start to open durian to eat.. lol.. i wasnt reli like to eat durian alot.. and i oni eat those super sweet with no other taste lidat de.. so i jus sit there watch them open.. my sis open till hand tio poke alot times lol.. den my cousin was asked to try to open the durian oso cos since her bf is helpin his dad to sell durians.. lol..
25kg of durians was all opened sia.. see how power are they in eating durian lol.. oni my dad,mum,aunt,cousin and my sis was eating the most.. den after eating and clearing up the durians.. we start to set up table to ready for our usual mahjong session.. 1st round we played quite ok.. den i lost RM10.. cos my sis keep winning alot tiles de.. zzz.. den we played 2nd round.. again i lost.. tis time reli bad.. cos i totally keep cannt win lol.. somemore they are too fast sometimes.. i remember got 1.. we oni take 1 time each.. den my aunt "zhi mo" ping hu.. kua zhang lo.. we the other 3 all still tinking hw to play to make it bigger.. she oredi win liaos.. i lost RM 23 tis round sia.. sians 1/2 lo lol.. den we went to eat dinner since my mum oredi cooked finish liaos..
i took 2 table spoons of rice to eat oni.. den i ate alot of the ladyfinger.. is 1 of my favourite vegetables sia.. den i did something tht my sis sayin im baby lo lol.. aiya.. cos the soup is the white and red carrot soup ma.. den i jus put 2 piece of white carrot and 1 piece red carrot den add in half bowl of soup to mix wif my rice.. and is totally smash the carrots into very little pieces lol.. kinda bcome like porridge lidat.. but lidat i like lehs.. oso dunno y lol.. i dun like eat normal white rice de lol..
after eating we pack up and prepare to go back spore liaos.. den i was slping all the way in car so i didnt noe much things.. but oni noe spore checkpoint again is traffic jam till all the way to msia checkpoint there stuck lo.. hais.. dunno what happened sia.. recently always lidat 1.. den after we pass the checkpoint i woke up.. den i blur blur den suddenly heard my dad say whose phone ringin.. den suddenly say siao liao.. den i tot what happened.. lol is he drive overshot and end up missed the way to punggol.. den end up he drive till all the way to tampines area till i saw IKEA sia lol.. den i was jkin say still wan buy anything or not.. GIANT open till midnite lehs lol.. den my sis say she nv come b4 here yet sia even though open quite long le.. den my dad U - Turn back to the punggol area there.. den i continue to slp back and reach home ard 10plus..
den i immediately went to measure weight.. and heng arh.. even got durian and mangosteen all tht i nv add on any weight.. woot.. den i played awhile games while waiting for my ming zhong zhu ding wo ai ni.. my frd say me siao 1.. crazy for it de sia.. Taiwan 9pm den show tht episode.. i wana so fast see it for what.. lol cos i noe got 1 person in youtube super nice.. will put it on youtube at usually midnite.. woot was excited for it lo.. den finally midnite i go check.. reli got sia.. woot happi happi.. den i watch and watch.. lol "xiao jing teng" inside is super funny lo.. i nv knew tht he can be so easy and free.. tot he always nv tok more than 3 words de sia.. inside he acting is very good.. makes the doc looks like so cute lidat sia.. den i watched finish at ard 2am cos in middle got sometimes upload slow.. now im gona wait for 19th episode again sia.. hope it faster come again.. lol.. jia lak.. im deeply addicted to tis show sia.. even their songs i always listen and listen oso wun sick of it.. i jus simply love the songs lol.. got sad de got happi de got cute de.. lol.. 22th july faster come pls lol.. i wana watch the show~
den whn i woke up i blur blur went to wash up and put some basic make up..
den whn i walk till my hse downstairs den i realise my morning medicine habent eat yet.. den i faster rush up to eat den went down again..
while on the way to msia.. my relative frm china realise tht his work permit all tht like cannt go in msia liaos.. den we oso saw tht woodland checkpoint super long traffic jam.. so we put my china relative drop off at kranji mrt station there.. since is easier for him to go back to factory there.. den we change to go to Tuas checkpoint to try our luck there cos woodland de reli too kua zhang liaos..
whn we reach tuas checkpoint there.. oso got alot of cars.. but at least is alot shorter than woodland checkpoint de.. after we pass the msia checkpoint.. we need to pay for the "guo lu fei".. den i was shocked tht the price rised so much sia.. last time i remember is RM6.80 lidat.. now RM10.80.. my god..
we went to the coffee shop nearby which was quite popular for tour bus to go de.. we went there for breakfast.. and i was so sad tht alot things i love to eat de.. but all is too fattening.. den end up i oni ate abit of the "chee cheong fun".. den we went to a place and find my cousin de bf and buy durians and mangosteen from his dad.. we bought alot alot sia.. lol.. 25kg of durians and 9kg of mangosteen lol.. at 1st mangosteen oni took ard 6kg de.. den i kiasu want more.. cos i love mangosteen lol.. den after tht we went to Jusco and bought our usual things such as yoghurt drinks and milk and yakult.. den whn we went back to our car whn after shopping.. whn my dad open the car door.. he gave a very strange face.. i tot wht thing.. den end up whn i open den i realise.. the durian smell is super duper strong inside the whole car.. i cannt tahan the smell tht much sia.. cos if too strong i will vomit de.. den i faster open window den face outside lol..
den we went back and my family straight away start to open durian to eat.. lol.. i wasnt reli like to eat durian alot.. and i oni eat those super sweet with no other taste lidat de.. so i jus sit there watch them open.. my sis open till hand tio poke alot times lol.. den my cousin was asked to try to open the durian oso cos since her bf is helpin his dad to sell durians.. lol..
25kg of durians was all opened sia.. see how power are they in eating durian lol.. oni my dad,mum,aunt,cousin and my sis was eating the most.. den after eating and clearing up the durians.. we start to set up table to ready for our usual mahjong session.. 1st round we played quite ok.. den i lost RM10.. cos my sis keep winning alot tiles de.. zzz.. den we played 2nd round.. again i lost.. tis time reli bad.. cos i totally keep cannt win lol.. somemore they are too fast sometimes.. i remember got 1.. we oni take 1 time each.. den my aunt "zhi mo" ping hu.. kua zhang lo.. we the other 3 all still tinking hw to play to make it bigger.. she oredi win liaos.. i lost RM 23 tis round sia.. sians 1/2 lo lol.. den we went to eat dinner since my mum oredi cooked finish liaos..
i took 2 table spoons of rice to eat oni.. den i ate alot of the ladyfinger.. is 1 of my favourite vegetables sia.. den i did something tht my sis sayin im baby lo lol.. aiya.. cos the soup is the white and red carrot soup ma.. den i jus put 2 piece of white carrot and 1 piece red carrot den add in half bowl of soup to mix wif my rice.. and is totally smash the carrots into very little pieces lol.. kinda bcome like porridge lidat.. but lidat i like lehs.. oso dunno y lol.. i dun like eat normal white rice de lol..
after eating we pack up and prepare to go back spore liaos.. den i was slping all the way in car so i didnt noe much things.. but oni noe spore checkpoint again is traffic jam till all the way to msia checkpoint there stuck lo.. hais.. dunno what happened sia.. recently always lidat 1.. den after we pass the checkpoint i woke up.. den i blur blur den suddenly heard my dad say whose phone ringin.. den suddenly say siao liao.. den i tot what happened.. lol is he drive overshot and end up missed the way to punggol.. den end up he drive till all the way to tampines area till i saw IKEA sia lol.. den i was jkin say still wan buy anything or not.. GIANT open till midnite lehs lol.. den my sis say she nv come b4 here yet sia even though open quite long le.. den my dad U - Turn back to the punggol area there.. den i continue to slp back and reach home ard 10plus..
den i immediately went to measure weight.. and heng arh.. even got durian and mangosteen all tht i nv add on any weight.. woot.. den i played awhile games while waiting for my ming zhong zhu ding wo ai ni.. my frd say me siao 1.. crazy for it de sia.. Taiwan 9pm den show tht episode.. i wana so fast see it for what.. lol cos i noe got 1 person in youtube super nice.. will put it on youtube at usually midnite.. woot was excited for it lo.. den finally midnite i go check.. reli got sia.. woot happi happi.. den i watch and watch.. lol "xiao jing teng" inside is super funny lo.. i nv knew tht he can be so easy and free.. tot he always nv tok more than 3 words de sia.. inside he acting is very good.. makes the doc looks like so cute lidat sia.. den i watched finish at ard 2am cos in middle got sometimes upload slow.. now im gona wait for 19th episode again sia.. hope it faster come again.. lol.. jia lak.. im deeply addicted to tis show sia.. even their songs i always listen and listen oso wun sick of it.. i jus simply love the songs lol.. got sad de got happi de got cute de.. lol.. 22th july faster come pls lol.. i wana watch the show~
written at 8:04 PM
Saturday, July 12, 200811/07/2008 - 12/07/2008
11/07/2008
iS Friday again.. sch day again.. last 2nd lesson of Ecommerce and i will be done with the whole module.. so fast is been almost 1yr le.. knew quite alot of new frds from there.. can listen to alot of life stories.. sad or happiness also got.. after graduate.. definitely will miss the class.. no matter i got talk to them b4 or not..
today my dad went to the mazda service centre to take back his baobei car.. den end up cos he wana put a new alarm system into the car.. end up dunno isit the person 1st day work or what.. he go lock the key inside the car.. end up got to ask my sis bf to go down and pass the other key to my dad to open the car.. stupid sia.. waste alot of time.. jus cos of him..
den my dad reach office at oni ard 6.30.. den andy huang jus nice called me at tht time too.. he was asking me where am i.. den i say office lo.. den he tot my dad will be very late.. he tell me if lidat he come office fetch me go sch together.. den i was tinking wah seh... his office changi lehs.. siao bo.. bt he told me he's at jurong.. but whn he was sayin tht.. my dad jus reach office.. so i told him no ned liao.. cos my dad back le lol.. den we say meet at school for dinner together b4 goin up to class then.. he reach b4 me.. den i reach ard 7.10.. he waited at the back gate as usual for me.. den we go in.. den i dunno sld eat what.. the oni plain de is the noodle stall le.. den i ordered 1 bowl of meatball kway teow soup.. den andy went to buy mixed vegetables rice.. den we was tokin while eating.. den he ask me why nv hear me say go chiong b4 de.. den i told him i nv go b4 and i dun wana go too.. cos i dun like tht kind of place lol.. den he say what country do i come from 1.. lol.. cos nowadays hard to find someone who nv went b4 de.. den he ask me if sat wan go out or not at nite.. cos morning till afternoon he got work de.. den he say gimme 2 choice.. 1 is go chiong.. another 1 is go KTV.. obvious i chose KTV.. but then i told him lidat i go there listen him sing de nia.. cos i dun wan throw face lol.. cos i heard b4 he sing.. tht time he got call me tok den i told him sians i cannt slp den he sing alot different songs.. not bad lol.. in front of him tink i better dun throw face.. den say halfway we went up to the class.. as usual we sat at behind side seats.. den after awhile break time liao lol.. den we was standing at the smoking area there as usual.. den the teacher joined us there.. den he say he wana act like a student lol.. den me and shernise went to toilet.. den she was asking me.. today isit im going to disco.. den i was like dots.. why say lidat sia.. den is jus cos of my shiny accessories.. lol.. den went back class.. den the andy keep on suan me lol.. cos i very blur keep on listening to wrong things.. den the teacher was giving exam tips.. finally after school.. as usual went off wif shernise and andy.. den shernise fell aslp at the back of the car.. while me and andy was toking in front.. den andy go make fun of shernise till she woke up.. lol can see she super tired la.. den i act tht i oso wana slp liaos.. den end up he keep fan me till i cannt slp oso lol.. drop shernise at jurong east mrt station there.. den while on the way to bukit batok mrt station.. andy was telling me tht nxt yr he sld be buyin his dream car.. although is 2nd hand.. bt oso ok la.. cos 1st hand i tink not worth for tht oso.. den he tell me tht whn he get tht car he bring me go out wif tht car.. but then he say lidat i mus change hairstyle liaos.. den i was tinking.. y i mus change lol.. cos the car top thing can open de.. den lidat my hair will be super messy.. cos he buying sports car ma.. den i answer back him.. aiya no ned la.. messy jiu messy lo.. on car oso bo lang see except him.. den we continue toking abt sat's thing.. den i told him the timing all tht he confirm with me again on tml ba.. cos reach liaos den i gona rush back home..
den whn i reach interchange.. i was goin to take 262.. den there was this malay ahbeng keep lookin at me.. i tot did i offend him or something.. den didnt reli care and jus look in front lo.. den i went up to the 262.. den he came and sit in front of me.. den as usual i love to wait the bus to loop back till my hse downstairs tht busstop.. den whn the bus reach ard the bishan park stop.. tht malay ahbeng suddenly turn ard and ask me if i wana eat mentos or not.. den i was like siao aie.. den i replied no den he ask me if he can noe me or not.. of cos i see my stop reaCh liao.. den told him im goin down liaos.. den i tot will be the end le.. end up he chase me down the bus and i walked as fast as i can till ard 354 downstairs.. he pulled my hand and stopped me.. den he keep on asking me questions.. like whats my name and am i singaporean.. den can he noe me better or not.. den i told him a fake name and fake tht im msian.. den he keep asking me can he noe me or not.. den i keep act blur and slowly walk till my hse downstairs.. den he ask me i live here arh.. den i say no arh.. den he dun let me go into the lift and keep asking me for my number all tht.. den i told him got anything else other than this? cos i ned to rush up to my bf hse now.. of cos is fake de la.. jus wana make him go away oni.. den at 1st he still dun wana leave.. den jus nice i was tinking.. oh ya i was listening to music.. den i pull off the earpiece thing off and act like got fone call.. den i act like i listened to the fone den say oh dear arh.. ya i reached ur hse downstairs.. den after i hung up i told him i reli got to go.. bf waiting me at the lift there le.. den lucky he say okok then den left liaos.. really scary sia.. den i smsed andy and tell him wao lao aie.. suay day today lol.. den he ask me why and ask me where am i at.. lucky i nothing happened sia.. suay suay suay.. lol.. den back home play awhile the detective game and fell aslp..
12/07/2008
suppose to wake up on 10am cos was goin out wif sis.. she wana pay her credit card bills and buy things.. den end up she say go sing KTV.. she treats.. den i was tinkin aiya oso good la.. cos if reli tonite ned to go KTV wif andy.. at least i noe i sing which song is not so nan ting de.. den reach the KTV ard 4.. den after a few songs i started to record every songs i sang in my hp.. den i chose those i very familar with de.. after the singing.. is ard 8plus le.. i was tinking y no fone calls frm andy yet.. den i called him.. tink he was slping lol.. den i ask him den lidat nv go le hor.. den he say ya den i say okok den hung up liaos.. den i joined my sis to go watch hellboy 2 with her bf at 12plus midnite.. since i nth to do and her bf pay.. lol.. den we went to eat at the thai express.. i ordered a super plain kway teow soup.. they call it a chicken tang hoon with glass noodle soup.. is reli plain and simple and no taste at all lol.. ever since i started to diet.. all the things i ate is kinda lidat de liaos.. den as usual i nv eat finish.. and while eating me and my sis was toking abt guys nowadays.. den heard quite abit of my sis last time de stories.. lol and she was way more powerful than me.. i dunno how she do tht but she's able to make the guys cant leave her.. she is so fierce.. love to nag.. love to shout lol.. she oso dunno why.. den she told me abt some of the stories tht she had with guys.. maybe the oni thing i was different wif her is tht her bf almost all is noe thru going pub and disco de.. den she say nowadays de guys getting worst.. lucky last time her age tht time still got quite okok de.. now good de all gana snatch away liaos.. left those okok de or not ok at all de.. lol.. den i listen to her stories till so interesting and funny till we didnt know we sat there for almost 90mins.. den we went off and went to the arcade.. den i finally completed my 100cc race without a single match lose.. den my sis was sayin why i so fast de.. den she keep cannt pass the 4th stage.. den i say i help her pass tht then.. end up i realise cos she played too much.. till the enemies become so powerful in throwing different kinds of idiot things.. bt i managed to help her pass it still.. den she was so happi tht she finally completed tht map lol.. i started to play the 150cc race.. and sad is cos my 8 cups picture on the card is gone.. cos 150cc i started from the top den they delete 100cc to put the 150cc.. now got to refill it back.. managed to pass and get 2 cups b4 the arcade close.. my sis bf jus nice reach whn we walk out of the arcade.. we went to buy a large cup of coke light and waited outside till can go in.. was looking at all the ppl.. almost all the ppl got popcorn on hand de sia.. tink back i almost 2 mths nv eat popcorn at all liaos.. lol i didnt miss the salted popcorn at all sia.. oso dunno y lol..
finAlly we went into the cinema and i put on earpiece to listen to those recordings.. i listened to the song which was sang by both my sis and me.. my sis sang 1st part.. den me is the behind part.. den i realise wah reli sounds alike.. oni tht my sis is more mono tone.. woot no wonder ppl always mistaken my voice and hers..
hellboy2 is quite a nice show.. although i nv watch the 1st 1.. but i will do tht soon.. lol kinda interesting and excited abt the 2 babies comingout of the world soon lol.. wonder how does it looks like..
den my sis bf was hungry den he drive the car to the mac drive thru at amk.. den he wana tempt me to eat.. but i end up didnt get tempt at all too lol.. den drive till shop and save.. we went down to buy things too.. my hse here de shop and save is 24hrs.. so nice..
den back home play awhile com.. now typin tis and im gona slp soon.. goin msia again tml.. hope no bad traffic jam tis time lol..
Changed my blog song to the song tht i like alot recently.. dunno why everytime i heard it.. my hearts feels the pain feeling.. and the song seems to be full of stories.. i can imagine the stories behind the song.. and pain feeling always make me feels heart ache..
anyways... i wAs tinking abt something ytd.. in the world really has lots of different types of people.. what for i did all tis while all the things i always gana blame by the person.. is not like i will mind it tht much.. and expected tht those who sees the story.. will point towards me again.. there will be never ending for it.. so why i mus care still.. how stupid am i really was.. to tink tht i will be able to help for tht... if thats what i will get.. prehaps i wouldnt care much anymore.. i will jus be the one who i told u i will be.. i will disappear in ur world as much as i can.. get back or not for the money doesnt matter anymore to me.. you want how thn how ba.. the moment tht i dropped tht last tears.. i oredi knew nth is gona change.. same old words.. All the best.. i will do my best for my life too.. mayb is a fate tht we met.. jus be the one tht u tink u will be happi with ba.. and take me out of ur memories too.. if u did tht.. u might be more happier than now.. if u dun wan to break ur promise still.. den u tell me oni whn u rdy to gib the money back ba.. if reli too long.. den nvm abt it ba.. mayb 1 or 2 yrs time.. i will totally 4get abt the matter.. jus like what i did for the 1500 tht is lost within my hands too.. in the meanwhile.. take care ba..
iS Friday again.. sch day again.. last 2nd lesson of Ecommerce and i will be done with the whole module.. so fast is been almost 1yr le.. knew quite alot of new frds from there.. can listen to alot of life stories.. sad or happiness also got.. after graduate.. definitely will miss the class.. no matter i got talk to them b4 or not..
today my dad went to the mazda service centre to take back his baobei car.. den end up cos he wana put a new alarm system into the car.. end up dunno isit the person 1st day work or what.. he go lock the key inside the car.. end up got to ask my sis bf to go down and pass the other key to my dad to open the car.. stupid sia.. waste alot of time.. jus cos of him..
den my dad reach office at oni ard 6.30.. den andy huang jus nice called me at tht time too.. he was asking me where am i.. den i say office lo.. den he tot my dad will be very late.. he tell me if lidat he come office fetch me go sch together.. den i was tinking wah seh... his office changi lehs.. siao bo.. bt he told me he's at jurong.. but whn he was sayin tht.. my dad jus reach office.. so i told him no ned liao.. cos my dad back le lol.. den we say meet at school for dinner together b4 goin up to class then.. he reach b4 me.. den i reach ard 7.10.. he waited at the back gate as usual for me.. den we go in.. den i dunno sld eat what.. the oni plain de is the noodle stall le.. den i ordered 1 bowl of meatball kway teow soup.. den andy went to buy mixed vegetables rice.. den we was tokin while eating.. den he ask me why nv hear me say go chiong b4 de.. den i told him i nv go b4 and i dun wana go too.. cos i dun like tht kind of place lol.. den he say what country do i come from 1.. lol.. cos nowadays hard to find someone who nv went b4 de.. den he ask me if sat wan go out or not at nite.. cos morning till afternoon he got work de.. den he say gimme 2 choice.. 1 is go chiong.. another 1 is go KTV.. obvious i chose KTV.. but then i told him lidat i go there listen him sing de nia.. cos i dun wan throw face lol.. cos i heard b4 he sing.. tht time he got call me tok den i told him sians i cannt slp den he sing alot different songs.. not bad lol.. in front of him tink i better dun throw face.. den say halfway we went up to the class.. as usual we sat at behind side seats.. den after awhile break time liao lol.. den we was standing at the smoking area there as usual.. den the teacher joined us there.. den he say he wana act like a student lol.. den me and shernise went to toilet.. den she was asking me.. today isit im going to disco.. den i was like dots.. why say lidat sia.. den is jus cos of my shiny accessories.. lol.. den went back class.. den the andy keep on suan me lol.. cos i very blur keep on listening to wrong things.. den the teacher was giving exam tips.. finally after school.. as usual went off wif shernise and andy.. den shernise fell aslp at the back of the car.. while me and andy was toking in front.. den andy go make fun of shernise till she woke up.. lol can see she super tired la.. den i act tht i oso wana slp liaos.. den end up he keep fan me till i cannt slp oso lol.. drop shernise at jurong east mrt station there.. den while on the way to bukit batok mrt station.. andy was telling me tht nxt yr he sld be buyin his dream car.. although is 2nd hand.. bt oso ok la.. cos 1st hand i tink not worth for tht oso.. den he tell me tht whn he get tht car he bring me go out wif tht car.. but then he say lidat i mus change hairstyle liaos.. den i was tinking.. y i mus change lol.. cos the car top thing can open de.. den lidat my hair will be super messy.. cos he buying sports car ma.. den i answer back him.. aiya no ned la.. messy jiu messy lo.. on car oso bo lang see except him.. den we continue toking abt sat's thing.. den i told him the timing all tht he confirm with me again on tml ba.. cos reach liaos den i gona rush back home..
den whn i reach interchange.. i was goin to take 262.. den there was this malay ahbeng keep lookin at me.. i tot did i offend him or something.. den didnt reli care and jus look in front lo.. den i went up to the 262.. den he came and sit in front of me.. den as usual i love to wait the bus to loop back till my hse downstairs tht busstop.. den whn the bus reach ard the bishan park stop.. tht malay ahbeng suddenly turn ard and ask me if i wana eat mentos or not.. den i was like siao aie.. den i replied no den he ask me if he can noe me or not.. of cos i see my stop reaCh liao.. den told him im goin down liaos.. den i tot will be the end le.. end up he chase me down the bus and i walked as fast as i can till ard 354 downstairs.. he pulled my hand and stopped me.. den he keep on asking me questions.. like whats my name and am i singaporean.. den can he noe me better or not.. den i told him a fake name and fake tht im msian.. den he keep asking me can he noe me or not.. den i keep act blur and slowly walk till my hse downstairs.. den he ask me i live here arh.. den i say no arh.. den he dun let me go into the lift and keep asking me for my number all tht.. den i told him got anything else other than this? cos i ned to rush up to my bf hse now.. of cos is fake de la.. jus wana make him go away oni.. den at 1st he still dun wana leave.. den jus nice i was tinking.. oh ya i was listening to music.. den i pull off the earpiece thing off and act like got fone call.. den i act like i listened to the fone den say oh dear arh.. ya i reached ur hse downstairs.. den after i hung up i told him i reli got to go.. bf waiting me at the lift there le.. den lucky he say okok then den left liaos.. really scary sia.. den i smsed andy and tell him wao lao aie.. suay day today lol.. den he ask me why and ask me where am i at.. lucky i nothing happened sia.. suay suay suay.. lol.. den back home play awhile the detective game and fell aslp..
12/07/2008
suppose to wake up on 10am cos was goin out wif sis.. she wana pay her credit card bills and buy things.. den end up she say go sing KTV.. she treats.. den i was tinkin aiya oso good la.. cos if reli tonite ned to go KTV wif andy.. at least i noe i sing which song is not so nan ting de.. den reach the KTV ard 4.. den after a few songs i started to record every songs i sang in my hp.. den i chose those i very familar with de.. after the singing.. is ard 8plus le.. i was tinking y no fone calls frm andy yet.. den i called him.. tink he was slping lol.. den i ask him den lidat nv go le hor.. den he say ya den i say okok den hung up liaos.. den i joined my sis to go watch hellboy 2 with her bf at 12plus midnite.. since i nth to do and her bf pay.. lol.. den we went to eat at the thai express.. i ordered a super plain kway teow soup.. they call it a chicken tang hoon with glass noodle soup.. is reli plain and simple and no taste at all lol.. ever since i started to diet.. all the things i ate is kinda lidat de liaos.. den as usual i nv eat finish.. and while eating me and my sis was toking abt guys nowadays.. den heard quite abit of my sis last time de stories.. lol and she was way more powerful than me.. i dunno how she do tht but she's able to make the guys cant leave her.. she is so fierce.. love to nag.. love to shout lol.. she oso dunno why.. den she told me abt some of the stories tht she had with guys.. maybe the oni thing i was different wif her is tht her bf almost all is noe thru going pub and disco de.. den she say nowadays de guys getting worst.. lucky last time her age tht time still got quite okok de.. now good de all gana snatch away liaos.. left those okok de or not ok at all de.. lol.. den i listen to her stories till so interesting and funny till we didnt know we sat there for almost 90mins.. den we went off and went to the arcade.. den i finally completed my 100cc race without a single match lose.. den my sis was sayin why i so fast de.. den she keep cannt pass the 4th stage.. den i say i help her pass tht then.. end up i realise cos she played too much.. till the enemies become so powerful in throwing different kinds of idiot things.. bt i managed to help her pass it still.. den she was so happi tht she finally completed tht map lol.. i started to play the 150cc race.. and sad is cos my 8 cups picture on the card is gone.. cos 150cc i started from the top den they delete 100cc to put the 150cc.. now got to refill it back.. managed to pass and get 2 cups b4 the arcade close.. my sis bf jus nice reach whn we walk out of the arcade.. we went to buy a large cup of coke light and waited outside till can go in.. was looking at all the ppl.. almost all the ppl got popcorn on hand de sia.. tink back i almost 2 mths nv eat popcorn at all liaos.. lol i didnt miss the salted popcorn at all sia.. oso dunno y lol..
finAlly we went into the cinema and i put on earpiece to listen to those recordings.. i listened to the song which was sang by both my sis and me.. my sis sang 1st part.. den me is the behind part.. den i realise wah reli sounds alike.. oni tht my sis is more mono tone.. woot no wonder ppl always mistaken my voice and hers..
hellboy2 is quite a nice show.. although i nv watch the 1st 1.. but i will do tht soon.. lol kinda interesting and excited abt the 2 babies comingout of the world soon lol.. wonder how does it looks like..
den my sis bf was hungry den he drive the car to the mac drive thru at amk.. den he wana tempt me to eat.. but i end up didnt get tempt at all too lol.. den drive till shop and save.. we went down to buy things too.. my hse here de shop and save is 24hrs.. so nice..
den back home play awhile com.. now typin tis and im gona slp soon.. goin msia again tml.. hope no bad traffic jam tis time lol..
Changed my blog song to the song tht i like alot recently.. dunno why everytime i heard it.. my hearts feels the pain feeling.. and the song seems to be full of stories.. i can imagine the stories behind the song.. and pain feeling always make me feels heart ache..
anyways... i wAs tinking abt something ytd.. in the world really has lots of different types of people.. what for i did all tis while all the things i always gana blame by the person.. is not like i will mind it tht much.. and expected tht those who sees the story.. will point towards me again.. there will be never ending for it.. so why i mus care still.. how stupid am i really was.. to tink tht i will be able to help for tht... if thats what i will get.. prehaps i wouldnt care much anymore.. i will jus be the one who i told u i will be.. i will disappear in ur world as much as i can.. get back or not for the money doesnt matter anymore to me.. you want how thn how ba.. the moment tht i dropped tht last tears.. i oredi knew nth is gona change.. same old words.. All the best.. i will do my best for my life too.. mayb is a fate tht we met.. jus be the one tht u tink u will be happi with ba.. and take me out of ur memories too.. if u did tht.. u might be more happier than now.. if u dun wan to break ur promise still.. den u tell me oni whn u rdy to gib the money back ba.. if reli too long.. den nvm abt it ba.. mayb 1 or 2 yrs time.. i will totally 4get abt the matter.. jus like what i did for the 1500 tht is lost within my hands too.. in the meanwhile.. take care ba..
written at 12:58 PM
Thursday, July 10, 200805/07/2008 - 10/07/2008
05/07/2007
nth much on tis day.. whole day at home till nite time went out wif sis to watch movie "hancock" wif her bf.. wasnt able to go arcade to play mario racing again.. cos too late liaos.. sadded.. miss the game lol.. i noe im childish wif tht.. but so many ppl was playing tht.. even my sis bf oso play.. the movie was quite nice.. quite funny for sometimes.. and if reli the world got tis type of ppl exist.. tink war no ned recruit soldiers liaos.. few of them will win the war liao lol.. after movie jus went straight home and slp straight liaos..
06/07/2008
woke up early in the morning ard 7am.. so tired sia.. den make up abit and get changed to go msia wif family.. reach woodland checkpoint ard 8am.. and was oredi very long traffic jam sia.. why so many ppl wan go msia?? last time oso wun lidat 1.. den alot of those ppl who cut queue by driving through the motorcycle's track.. till in front there den cut back to car's track.. den my dad was dulan abt it.. and so he got an idea.. he slowly drive abit out to the motorcycle's track.. means tht he drive the the middle line of the motorcycle and the car's track.. lidat those car cannt pass through liaos.. den wun hab ppl cut in front's queue.. since our car is quite big size lol.. end up tis method reli works.. and some of the car behind oso follow lidat.. lol.. reach msia ard 10am.. was so super hungry abt it sia.. den we went to eat the abalone noodle which the TV show got intro de.. so many ppl oso.. end up we ate our food at oni ard 11plus..
reach my grandma hse at 12pm lidat.. tiring morning lol.. den we these mahjong siao straight start to play mahjong again lol.. play till ard 1pm plus.. den my dad went to my cousin's bf hse there to take durians.. cos durian season den my cousin's bf's dad owns a durian farm or something de lol.. they brought back ard 20 durians and is super duper cheap lo.. they sell us oni at RM50.. somemore is super nice taste for almost all lo.. still got 2 of 3 of it is "hong xia" de.. love tht the most.. but i nv eat alot cos diet what.. lol.. finally able to cut down 6kg liaos.. cannt waste.. so i eat here 1 there 1.. den we continue play mahjong again another round.. till ard 4plus we went to Giant shopping centre.. den bought things and faster went back home finish the mahjong cos we played till half round den mum nag us go buy things 1st lol.. overall played 2 full round.. i oni won $7.20.. zzzzz.. bt heng la.. cos at 1st 2nd round starting i lost super lots de.. den behind abit den better...
after tht i went to bathe and after tht eat dinner.. almost my whole family was eating like half bowl of rice oni lol.. cos they ate too much durian.. i oso eat abit rice oni.. but tht's my standard serving.. not bcos of durian lol.. my dinner is jus white rice wif white carrot soup lidat.. cos the rest all quite fattening lol.. so i nv eat.. super plain hor lol.. rest awhile den my mum showed me something tht i cannt resist as always.. is the favourite fruit of mine.. MANGO.. and tis mango super power.. the size is almost ard normal size papaya sia.. at 1st far far see i tot is papaya lo.. the biggest mango i seen lol.. and is quite nice taste oso lo.. although i oni ate 1 slice of it nia.. cos mango is fattening.. kinda sad.. but nvm lol..
ard 8plus to 9pm.. we set off to go back to spore.. msia de checkpoint didnt jam at all.. i tot wah finally.. today can go back early liaos.. den end up i nv thought tht spore checkpoint jammed like siao.. till the bridge there lo.. my god.. den somemore move so slow.. dunno y recently spore checkpoint bcome lidat liaos.. my dad say he go ask the police there whn check the back of the car.. den the police say is cos of tht malay guy again.. really sians 1/2 lo.. jus cos india or where caught 1 sporean.. den they wan start to check till lidat again.. zz.. reach home ard 11plus to 12am lidat.. den went in msn tok awhile and fell aslp halfway..
07/07/2008
early in the morning.. monday blue agian.. lol.. i nth to do i go ask my dad.. noe what's the meaning of monday blue or not.. he reli noe sia.. english improved liaos lol.. reach office.. do awhile work... den watch ming zhong zhu ding wo ai ni episode 17.. so nice sia... cant wait for the 18th episode.. den watch xing guang da dao oso..
at 6plus went home.. as usual do the same thing.. den watched superband.. nt reli interested in tht.. me and my sis each playin 1 laptop.. lol.. cos i bought mine back home oso.. i playin the world of warcraft 3.. den my sis playin the detective game.. den my mum say we crazy 1 lol.. den went bathe.. tok in msn wif andy huang they all.. den fell aslp as usual lol..
08/07/2008
sians.. nite time got sch.. was totally bored of it.. and i keep disturbing both andy in msn.. spamming bored and sians lol.. ard 7pm andy huang called me ask me where m i.. den i reach ard 7.15pm.. he was at the gate there standing.. den we went in and at 1st i wana eat dinner de.. but i got bring bread.. so save abit lo.. den i went to the toilet while andy eat his fried rice.. he siao 1.. eat super fast.. i oni go toilet come out.. he eat finish liaos.. or isit i slow.. lol.. den he bought a mango juice den we went up to the class..
reach class ard 7.30pm.. at 1st samantha smsed me whn i was in canteen to ask me to go sit wif her.. but then end up andy wan sit at the side.. so i oso sit at the side.. cos samantha at the middle.. i dun like sitting at the middle oso lol..
after class ryan was asking me if i wan him to send me back home or not.. cos he driving ma.. den i end up tink tink.. den i rejected lol.. end up i folo shernise and andy huang.. in car we was toking abt macdonald.. i tink is cos i say dunno tml's lunch eat what.. den he say call mac delivery.. den i say very exp plus i dun reli like mac.. oni like to eat mac breakfast.. den he say in car lidat every morning he go mac buy 1 big breakfast meal for me lo.. shernise tot is real de sia.. i straight away noe is fake de liaos.. lol.. tok to him so much tis 2 mths.. oso noe his pattern liaos la.. he wher will so nice everyday send breakfast to my office for me de sia.. he stay bukit batok den office at changi lehs.. den i say him aiya dun bluff la.. u where got so nice 1.. lol.. den shernise oso blur blur dere.. den still ask us 14th sept she got a performance.. ask me and andy to go together.. lol i say mayb i cant make it.. cos is sunday plus i might be goin msia to celebrate chinese's 21st bdae wif my grandparents.. den andy send shernise to boonlay.. den after tht to bukit batok.. in car he was asking me why i dun wana folo ryan.. den i told him tht i ned to buy something b4 go home.. if folo ryan will b very mafan.. den i oso very lazy.. plus i and ryan nv reli tok much b4.. the silence in the car is very terrible lol.. den he drive me to the bukit batok central.. den he park the car at 1 carpark den brought me to 7-11 and cheers.. cos i was putting things back to my bag.. i cannt open the door properly.. den he walk over to help me open.. wah seh sia.. i straight say.. wah so nice arh.. den he say me when he do tht i say nice.. den whn he nv do tht i say he bad.. lol.. den we walk over to cheers there and i was tinking of buying my nxt day's lunch.. cos nth to eat.. everyday eat bread oso bored.. den i was looking through the biscuits section.. i dunno which to buy.. den i was looking at the plain crackers.. den he say me tht 1 not nice de.. den he took up 1 tin of those butter cookies.. den i was like omg sia.. i cannt eat finish all by myself la.. crazy.. somemore is very fattening 1 tht 1.. den he keep sayin me in cheers den took me to 7-11 to see other types.. den end up i still choose plain crackers.. he oso nth to say liaos.. den he took away my biscuits and he bought for himself a cup noodles.. and he paid for it.. lol.. wanted to joke wif him.. aiya u treat arh.. sld hab took the most expensive de liaos.. but i nv la.. lol.. knew he got not much money oso.. den he bring me back to cheers.. i tot he wana buy what again.. den end up he took me to the canned food section.. den keep telling me to buy some of it to eat for lunch better.. zZz.. den i say dun wan many times till he no choice bt to go out from the cheers lol.. den i tell him wait the cashier tot we 2 siao 1.. keep goin in and out of the cheers.. den after tht he drive me to the bukit batok mrt staion.. at 1st ask me wana go mac eat something 1st or not.. den i say anything den tink awhile.. he say aiya nvm.. late liaos lol.. den i suddenly tink of something... if i eat lata cfm late for last train lol.. den i went off and took mrt back to amk and took 262 and turn 1 round as usual... reli lazy to walk lol..
reach home ard 12.10am.. den i went in msn straight saw andy's msn.. he ask why so late 1.. den i tell him how i go home de.. den he gimme a -.-" face lol.. cos he drop me at bukit batok mrt was ard 11pm.. i took 1hr 10min to reach home.. den we tok awhile in msn till i tink dunno me or him fell aslp 1st.. lol.. cos he oso fell aslp lol.. i oso fell aslp..
09/07/2008
today afternoon my dad changed car.. lol.. he changed back to the altis.. cos the cx-7 send to the car service centre to add parts into the car.. ned to put there till fri i tink.. den so weird whn i sit on altis again.. my dad can change back altis easily cos the altis was my company de ppl driving.. lend from him for 2 days.. lol.. suay day sia.. i 4get to bring my wallet.. the worst is tht i realise it oni after i reach sch.. den i was tinking if lidat i no wallet how to go home.. went up to class at ard 7.11pm.. den was shocked cos oni the last lesson of the Accounting den i saw alot ppl in class lol.. all come is jus for the exam tips nia.. end up catherine they all sit together till no place liaos.. i sit alone behind so bored.. bt was listening to what he say.. cos last lesson ma.. den whn break time andy lee and catherine they all come behind tok to me.. den i asked qiuyong to move to sit beside me.. den i lidat wun b tht bored.. den was toking wif her while listening.. den after class.. i saw ryan walked out of class so fast.. i tot tht he might be rushing to somewhere else.. den i was tinking how to go back.. den at 1st andy lee they all goin take bus 1.. den they heard i no money no wallet to go home.. andy lee changed their way and say he take cab send me and catherine home ba.. den i was like heng arh.. but more heng de is.. whn i walk pass the canteen there.. samantha came and ask me if i wana tag along or not.. cos ryan outside waiting.. ryan is goin home.. which is oso amk de.. den i say okok den i went off wif her lol.. lidat nicer.. wun owe andy lee for the taxi ride.. lol.. while in the car.. all along from sch till my hse there is listening to samantha and ryan sayin abt job thing.. abt import export de thing.. listen till i oso dunno what isit.. den i keep looking at outside lo lidat..
den i reach home and bathe and sit beside my sis watch her play the detective game.. den ard 11plus andy huang called me.. den he ask me how i go home today 1.. cos i smsed him tell him i 4get to bring wallet during my class time... den he got reply then how.. but i nv saw it till ard 9plus.. den i told him ryan send de lo.. if not i jia lak lo.. walk home lol.. den he say aiya... i oso wun bother to walk home 1.. jus call his hp tell him can liao.. lol.. i say him he whn bcome so nice 1 sia.. end up he say cos i treat him like my driver LOL.. since whn sia.. den he ask me lidat i tml goin to eat what again.. den i tell him dunno.. sld b bread.. den he say aiya tml bring me go eat cheese.. den i say no immediately.. my god la.. i cutting down on cheese cos dieting.. den he noe i like to eat cheese.. always tempt me go eat tht cheesy udon.. zzz.. den he ask me y i wana diet.. den i tell him lo.. cos i very fat.. no clothes to wear nice nice.. den so ugly lo.. lol.. den after tht tok awhile den i say i goin in msn soon.. den he say den lidat tok in msn.. den end up i 12.45 lidat den go in msn.. he say me my awhile is 1hr 10min sia.. lol.. where got so long.. i tot 45min nia.. den we tok inside awhile.. den i start to say bored bored bored to him again lol.. den he keep gimme ... or ask me then how.. lol.. but awhile lata saw him nv reply liaos.. knew he fell aslp liaos.. so i played awhile the detective game den fell slp oso..
10/07/2008
today morning abit late.. cos was playin the detective game in room awhile till 4get time.. lol.. sit on the altis again.. den my sis oso feel so long nv sit on altis liao lol.. like suddenly from the car very high drop to so low.. den can hear my dad keep sayin altis cannt go fast and no power at all lol.. he surely miss his cx-7 lol.. cos the power tht the turbo of the cx-7 is jus nice for him.. lol.. reach office at 1st wana slack abit.. open cake mania 2 awhile to play.. den world of warcraft 3.. den realise i today got super lots of things to do.. end up i start to do all tht at 10am plus.. so many things to type and file... till i rush till 5pm den eat my bread as lunch zzz..
now relax and doin some work.. while listening to music.. lol.. waiting to go home~
nth much on tis day.. whole day at home till nite time went out wif sis to watch movie "hancock" wif her bf.. wasnt able to go arcade to play mario racing again.. cos too late liaos.. sadded.. miss the game lol.. i noe im childish wif tht.. but so many ppl was playing tht.. even my sis bf oso play.. the movie was quite nice.. quite funny for sometimes.. and if reli the world got tis type of ppl exist.. tink war no ned recruit soldiers liaos.. few of them will win the war liao lol.. after movie jus went straight home and slp straight liaos..
06/07/2008
woke up early in the morning ard 7am.. so tired sia.. den make up abit and get changed to go msia wif family.. reach woodland checkpoint ard 8am.. and was oredi very long traffic jam sia.. why so many ppl wan go msia?? last time oso wun lidat 1.. den alot of those ppl who cut queue by driving through the motorcycle's track.. till in front there den cut back to car's track.. den my dad was dulan abt it.. and so he got an idea.. he slowly drive abit out to the motorcycle's track.. means tht he drive the the middle line of the motorcycle and the car's track.. lidat those car cannt pass through liaos.. den wun hab ppl cut in front's queue.. since our car is quite big size lol.. end up tis method reli works.. and some of the car behind oso follow lidat.. lol.. reach msia ard 10am.. was so super hungry abt it sia.. den we went to eat the abalone noodle which the TV show got intro de.. so many ppl oso.. end up we ate our food at oni ard 11plus..
reach my grandma hse at 12pm lidat.. tiring morning lol.. den we these mahjong siao straight start to play mahjong again lol.. play till ard 1pm plus.. den my dad went to my cousin's bf hse there to take durians.. cos durian season den my cousin's bf's dad owns a durian farm or something de lol.. they brought back ard 20 durians and is super duper cheap lo.. they sell us oni at RM50.. somemore is super nice taste for almost all lo.. still got 2 of 3 of it is "hong xia" de.. love tht the most.. but i nv eat alot cos diet what.. lol.. finally able to cut down 6kg liaos.. cannt waste.. so i eat here 1 there 1.. den we continue play mahjong again another round.. till ard 4plus we went to Giant shopping centre.. den bought things and faster went back home finish the mahjong cos we played till half round den mum nag us go buy things 1st lol.. overall played 2 full round.. i oni won $7.20.. zzzzz.. bt heng la.. cos at 1st 2nd round starting i lost super lots de.. den behind abit den better...
after tht i went to bathe and after tht eat dinner.. almost my whole family was eating like half bowl of rice oni lol.. cos they ate too much durian.. i oso eat abit rice oni.. but tht's my standard serving.. not bcos of durian lol.. my dinner is jus white rice wif white carrot soup lidat.. cos the rest all quite fattening lol.. so i nv eat.. super plain hor lol.. rest awhile den my mum showed me something tht i cannt resist as always.. is the favourite fruit of mine.. MANGO.. and tis mango super power.. the size is almost ard normal size papaya sia.. at 1st far far see i tot is papaya lo.. the biggest mango i seen lol.. and is quite nice taste oso lo.. although i oni ate 1 slice of it nia.. cos mango is fattening.. kinda sad.. but nvm lol..
ard 8plus to 9pm.. we set off to go back to spore.. msia de checkpoint didnt jam at all.. i tot wah finally.. today can go back early liaos.. den end up i nv thought tht spore checkpoint jammed like siao.. till the bridge there lo.. my god.. den somemore move so slow.. dunno y recently spore checkpoint bcome lidat liaos.. my dad say he go ask the police there whn check the back of the car.. den the police say is cos of tht malay guy again.. really sians 1/2 lo.. jus cos india or where caught 1 sporean.. den they wan start to check till lidat again.. zz.. reach home ard 11plus to 12am lidat.. den went in msn tok awhile and fell aslp halfway..
07/07/2008
early in the morning.. monday blue agian.. lol.. i nth to do i go ask my dad.. noe what's the meaning of monday blue or not.. he reli noe sia.. english improved liaos lol.. reach office.. do awhile work... den watch ming zhong zhu ding wo ai ni episode 17.. so nice sia... cant wait for the 18th episode.. den watch xing guang da dao oso..
at 6plus went home.. as usual do the same thing.. den watched superband.. nt reli interested in tht.. me and my sis each playin 1 laptop.. lol.. cos i bought mine back home oso.. i playin the world of warcraft 3.. den my sis playin the detective game.. den my mum say we crazy 1 lol.. den went bathe.. tok in msn wif andy huang they all.. den fell aslp as usual lol..
08/07/2008
sians.. nite time got sch.. was totally bored of it.. and i keep disturbing both andy in msn.. spamming bored and sians lol.. ard 7pm andy huang called me ask me where m i.. den i reach ard 7.15pm.. he was at the gate there standing.. den we went in and at 1st i wana eat dinner de.. but i got bring bread.. so save abit lo.. den i went to the toilet while andy eat his fried rice.. he siao 1.. eat super fast.. i oni go toilet come out.. he eat finish liaos.. or isit i slow.. lol.. den he bought a mango juice den we went up to the class..
reach class ard 7.30pm.. at 1st samantha smsed me whn i was in canteen to ask me to go sit wif her.. but then end up andy wan sit at the side.. so i oso sit at the side.. cos samantha at the middle.. i dun like sitting at the middle oso lol..
after class ryan was asking me if i wan him to send me back home or not.. cos he driving ma.. den i end up tink tink.. den i rejected lol.. end up i folo shernise and andy huang.. in car we was toking abt macdonald.. i tink is cos i say dunno tml's lunch eat what.. den he say call mac delivery.. den i say very exp plus i dun reli like mac.. oni like to eat mac breakfast.. den he say in car lidat every morning he go mac buy 1 big breakfast meal for me lo.. shernise tot is real de sia.. i straight away noe is fake de liaos.. lol.. tok to him so much tis 2 mths.. oso noe his pattern liaos la.. he wher will so nice everyday send breakfast to my office for me de sia.. he stay bukit batok den office at changi lehs.. den i say him aiya dun bluff la.. u where got so nice 1.. lol.. den shernise oso blur blur dere.. den still ask us 14th sept she got a performance.. ask me and andy to go together.. lol i say mayb i cant make it.. cos is sunday plus i might be goin msia to celebrate chinese's 21st bdae wif my grandparents.. den andy send shernise to boonlay.. den after tht to bukit batok.. in car he was asking me why i dun wana folo ryan.. den i told him tht i ned to buy something b4 go home.. if folo ryan will b very mafan.. den i oso very lazy.. plus i and ryan nv reli tok much b4.. the silence in the car is very terrible lol.. den he drive me to the bukit batok central.. den he park the car at 1 carpark den brought me to 7-11 and cheers.. cos i was putting things back to my bag.. i cannt open the door properly.. den he walk over to help me open.. wah seh sia.. i straight say.. wah so nice arh.. den he say me when he do tht i say nice.. den whn he nv do tht i say he bad.. lol.. den we walk over to cheers there and i was tinking of buying my nxt day's lunch.. cos nth to eat.. everyday eat bread oso bored.. den i was looking through the biscuits section.. i dunno which to buy.. den i was looking at the plain crackers.. den he say me tht 1 not nice de.. den he took up 1 tin of those butter cookies.. den i was like omg sia.. i cannt eat finish all by myself la.. crazy.. somemore is very fattening 1 tht 1.. den he keep sayin me in cheers den took me to 7-11 to see other types.. den end up i still choose plain crackers.. he oso nth to say liaos.. den he took away my biscuits and he bought for himself a cup noodles.. and he paid for it.. lol.. wanted to joke wif him.. aiya u treat arh.. sld hab took the most expensive de liaos.. but i nv la.. lol.. knew he got not much money oso.. den he bring me back to cheers.. i tot he wana buy what again.. den end up he took me to the canned food section.. den keep telling me to buy some of it to eat for lunch better.. zZz.. den i say dun wan many times till he no choice bt to go out from the cheers lol.. den i tell him wait the cashier tot we 2 siao 1.. keep goin in and out of the cheers.. den after tht he drive me to the bukit batok mrt staion.. at 1st ask me wana go mac eat something 1st or not.. den i say anything den tink awhile.. he say aiya nvm.. late liaos lol.. den i suddenly tink of something... if i eat lata cfm late for last train lol.. den i went off and took mrt back to amk and took 262 and turn 1 round as usual... reli lazy to walk lol..
reach home ard 12.10am.. den i went in msn straight saw andy's msn.. he ask why so late 1.. den i tell him how i go home de.. den he gimme a -.-" face lol.. cos he drop me at bukit batok mrt was ard 11pm.. i took 1hr 10min to reach home.. den we tok awhile in msn till i tink dunno me or him fell aslp 1st.. lol.. cos he oso fell aslp lol.. i oso fell aslp..
09/07/2008
today afternoon my dad changed car.. lol.. he changed back to the altis.. cos the cx-7 send to the car service centre to add parts into the car.. ned to put there till fri i tink.. den so weird whn i sit on altis again.. my dad can change back altis easily cos the altis was my company de ppl driving.. lend from him for 2 days.. lol.. suay day sia.. i 4get to bring my wallet.. the worst is tht i realise it oni after i reach sch.. den i was tinking if lidat i no wallet how to go home.. went up to class at ard 7.11pm.. den was shocked cos oni the last lesson of the Accounting den i saw alot ppl in class lol.. all come is jus for the exam tips nia.. end up catherine they all sit together till no place liaos.. i sit alone behind so bored.. bt was listening to what he say.. cos last lesson ma.. den whn break time andy lee and catherine they all come behind tok to me.. den i asked qiuyong to move to sit beside me.. den i lidat wun b tht bored.. den was toking wif her while listening.. den after class.. i saw ryan walked out of class so fast.. i tot tht he might be rushing to somewhere else.. den i was tinking how to go back.. den at 1st andy lee they all goin take bus 1.. den they heard i no money no wallet to go home.. andy lee changed their way and say he take cab send me and catherine home ba.. den i was like heng arh.. but more heng de is.. whn i walk pass the canteen there.. samantha came and ask me if i wana tag along or not.. cos ryan outside waiting.. ryan is goin home.. which is oso amk de.. den i say okok den i went off wif her lol.. lidat nicer.. wun owe andy lee for the taxi ride.. lol.. while in the car.. all along from sch till my hse there is listening to samantha and ryan sayin abt job thing.. abt import export de thing.. listen till i oso dunno what isit.. den i keep looking at outside lo lidat..
den i reach home and bathe and sit beside my sis watch her play the detective game.. den ard 11plus andy huang called me.. den he ask me how i go home today 1.. cos i smsed him tell him i 4get to bring wallet during my class time... den he got reply then how.. but i nv saw it till ard 9plus.. den i told him ryan send de lo.. if not i jia lak lo.. walk home lol.. den he say aiya... i oso wun bother to walk home 1.. jus call his hp tell him can liao.. lol.. i say him he whn bcome so nice 1 sia.. end up he say cos i treat him like my driver LOL.. since whn sia.. den he ask me lidat i tml goin to eat what again.. den i tell him dunno.. sld b bread.. den he say aiya tml bring me go eat cheese.. den i say no immediately.. my god la.. i cutting down on cheese cos dieting.. den he noe i like to eat cheese.. always tempt me go eat tht cheesy udon.. zzz.. den he ask me y i wana diet.. den i tell him lo.. cos i very fat.. no clothes to wear nice nice.. den so ugly lo.. lol.. den after tht tok awhile den i say i goin in msn soon.. den he say den lidat tok in msn.. den end up i 12.45 lidat den go in msn.. he say me my awhile is 1hr 10min sia.. lol.. where got so long.. i tot 45min nia.. den we tok inside awhile.. den i start to say bored bored bored to him again lol.. den he keep gimme ... or ask me then how.. lol.. but awhile lata saw him nv reply liaos.. knew he fell aslp liaos.. so i played awhile the detective game den fell slp oso..
10/07/2008
today morning abit late.. cos was playin the detective game in room awhile till 4get time.. lol.. sit on the altis again.. den my sis oso feel so long nv sit on altis liao lol.. like suddenly from the car very high drop to so low.. den can hear my dad keep sayin altis cannt go fast and no power at all lol.. he surely miss his cx-7 lol.. cos the power tht the turbo of the cx-7 is jus nice for him.. lol.. reach office at 1st wana slack abit.. open cake mania 2 awhile to play.. den world of warcraft 3.. den realise i today got super lots of things to do.. end up i start to do all tht at 10am plus.. so many things to type and file... till i rush till 5pm den eat my bread as lunch zzz..
now relax and doin some work.. while listening to music.. lol.. waiting to go home~
written at 1:25 AM
Saturday, July 5, 20081st July - 4th July 2008
tis few days wasnt really quite free.. so didnt update at all..
so now since im at home.. i will jus do a simple update..
1st july 2008
tues wasnt really doing anything.. jus simple work at office.. after work started to watch the famous taiwan drama "命中注定我愛你" was really addicted to it sia.. so nice and funny and sad.. no wonder is the highest rating in taiwan now...
2nd july 2008
wed was watching the taiwan drama again cos jus cant stop watching it.. was rushing all the way for my office work and after finish i will continue to watch the taiwan drama.. during middle part of the show.. i started to almost crying all the way.. so sad.. i cant imagine if really all tis will happened in the real life.. if im the girl.. i tink i will almost be the same like her.. tht experience is really too hard to forget about.. jus whn she is starting to get the love that she deserves.. all gone in a sudden cos the guy's old lover came back.. being so sad but yet still continue to wait for the guy.. and end up their baby oso gone bcos of the accident.. make till all tis happened de is oni tht old lover.. and they got the mistaken in between and the girl left taiwan to start a new life.. i jus love the guy who stood by the girl and bring her to shanghai to start new life.. he's so gentle, so mature, so sweet..
after work, went to class and was really super bored.. got back my test result lol.. 19/30 nia.. bt nvm ba.. since is pass.. got to work hard for main exam ba.. den i was so bored tht i keep on toking wif andy lee and catherine at class and oso drawing on the text book all the way.. after sch.. andy lee took cab and send us back home.. reach home i continue to watch till i watched finish and was waiting for nxt monday for the episode 17 to be out.. excited abt it..
3rd july 2008
thurs.. got addicted to watch taiwan series.. early in the morning started to watch "這裡發現愛".. since it was showing at ch 56 and i dun hab the time to watch it.. i rush it and managed to finish it within 1 day.. since the show oni got 16 episode.. was quite good actually.. but dunno y always those taiwan drama male lead will be so rich and handsome and so nice oso.. bt quite ok ba.. overall i might not so addicted to it ba.. cos was short and the story oni behind got abit sad.. in front is all the way quite normal and expected..
whn after work went home and my dad bought a chicken which i nv ate b4 de.. is called yan ji.. the taste is not bad.. bt abit salty.. lol..
4th July 2008
took off as i want to go for my checkup at my family doctor there.. i slp till ard 12pm and wake up watch awhile TV.. tok in msn wif andy huang.. and andy huang was mentioning that mayb i go to somewhere den he will pick me up and go sch together.. after i attended to my checkup.. den i smsed andy huang to ask him where sld i wait.. den at 1st say is raffles place.. and ard 6pm he called me and tell me tht he will pick me up at my hse here.. so i waited till ard 6.30pm den he reach.. i was eating my bread whn i went to meet him at my hse downstairs there.. lol.. den he saw me eating the bread wifout water is so xin ku.. he gave me a bottle of plain water and is new de oso.. woot.. save my life sia lol.. on the way we were stuck in a traffic jam.. and so we was crapping on the car on the way... i always cant win his craps 1.. end up always tio suan lol.. reach sch at ard 7.30pm and catherine was waiting me at canteen to pass me the assignment as she got to go off.. and after me and andy huang bought some food and drinks from canteen.. we went up to the class.. and listen awhile the teacher give break time.. i follow they all to their smoking area to tok.. and finally i saw samantha sia.. cos she almost all the lessons nv come.. till hor.. she dun even noe who is andy huang and asked me who is him and she tot why i come to class still bring bf along -.- and i of cos immediately say he's only in our class for tht module cos he was transferred to tis class.. not bcos of me and i dunno him b4 tis class de -.- den shernise was making fun of andy and andy almost wan push her off the stairs lol..
after break time as usual.. expected tht samantha will went off again lol.. i nv saw her came for full lesson at all for this 2 last module b4.. and i was so bored in class and dunno sld do what.. after class as usual i went off wif shernise and andy huang.. drop shernise down at jurong east mrt station and andy huang drop me at bukit batok mrt station as he got to rush home..
den i took mrt back and reach home at ard 11.15.. watched awhile tv and fell aslp again lol..
so now since im at home.. i will jus do a simple update..
1st july 2008
tues wasnt really doing anything.. jus simple work at office.. after work started to watch the famous taiwan drama "命中注定我愛你" was really addicted to it sia.. so nice and funny and sad.. no wonder is the highest rating in taiwan now...
2nd july 2008
wed was watching the taiwan drama again cos jus cant stop watching it.. was rushing all the way for my office work and after finish i will continue to watch the taiwan drama.. during middle part of the show.. i started to almost crying all the way.. so sad.. i cant imagine if really all tis will happened in the real life.. if im the girl.. i tink i will almost be the same like her.. tht experience is really too hard to forget about.. jus whn she is starting to get the love that she deserves.. all gone in a sudden cos the guy's old lover came back.. being so sad but yet still continue to wait for the guy.. and end up their baby oso gone bcos of the accident.. make till all tis happened de is oni tht old lover.. and they got the mistaken in between and the girl left taiwan to start a new life.. i jus love the guy who stood by the girl and bring her to shanghai to start new life.. he's so gentle, so mature, so sweet..
after work, went to class and was really super bored.. got back my test result lol.. 19/30 nia.. bt nvm ba.. since is pass.. got to work hard for main exam ba.. den i was so bored tht i keep on toking wif andy lee and catherine at class and oso drawing on the text book all the way.. after sch.. andy lee took cab and send us back home.. reach home i continue to watch till i watched finish and was waiting for nxt monday for the episode 17 to be out.. excited abt it..
3rd july 2008
thurs.. got addicted to watch taiwan series.. early in the morning started to watch "這裡發現愛".. since it was showing at ch 56 and i dun hab the time to watch it.. i rush it and managed to finish it within 1 day.. since the show oni got 16 episode.. was quite good actually.. but dunno y always those taiwan drama male lead will be so rich and handsome and so nice oso.. bt quite ok ba.. overall i might not so addicted to it ba.. cos was short and the story oni behind got abit sad.. in front is all the way quite normal and expected..
whn after work went home and my dad bought a chicken which i nv ate b4 de.. is called yan ji.. the taste is not bad.. bt abit salty.. lol..
4th July 2008
took off as i want to go for my checkup at my family doctor there.. i slp till ard 12pm and wake up watch awhile TV.. tok in msn wif andy huang.. and andy huang was mentioning that mayb i go to somewhere den he will pick me up and go sch together.. after i attended to my checkup.. den i smsed andy huang to ask him where sld i wait.. den at 1st say is raffles place.. and ard 6pm he called me and tell me tht he will pick me up at my hse here.. so i waited till ard 6.30pm den he reach.. i was eating my bread whn i went to meet him at my hse downstairs there.. lol.. den he saw me eating the bread wifout water is so xin ku.. he gave me a bottle of plain water and is new de oso.. woot.. save my life sia lol.. on the way we were stuck in a traffic jam.. and so we was crapping on the car on the way... i always cant win his craps 1.. end up always tio suan lol.. reach sch at ard 7.30pm and catherine was waiting me at canteen to pass me the assignment as she got to go off.. and after me and andy huang bought some food and drinks from canteen.. we went up to the class.. and listen awhile the teacher give break time.. i follow they all to their smoking area to tok.. and finally i saw samantha sia.. cos she almost all the lessons nv come.. till hor.. she dun even noe who is andy huang and asked me who is him and she tot why i come to class still bring bf along -.- and i of cos immediately say he's only in our class for tht module cos he was transferred to tis class.. not bcos of me and i dunno him b4 tis class de -.- den shernise was making fun of andy and andy almost wan push her off the stairs lol..
after break time as usual.. expected tht samantha will went off again lol.. i nv saw her came for full lesson at all for this 2 last module b4.. and i was so bored in class and dunno sld do what.. after class as usual i went off wif shernise and andy huang.. drop shernise down at jurong east mrt station and andy huang drop me at bukit batok mrt station as he got to rush home..
den i took mrt back and reach home at ard 11.15.. watched awhile tv and fell aslp again lol..
written at 3:19 AM
